From flirty FWB to aloof but exclusive
I met a guy about a month ago. We went on a couple dates and hooked up. Neither one of us was interested in a relationship, so we decided to be friends with benefits. Usually, a FWB situation is ambiguous, but in this case we decided explicitly what it would mean: sex with a bit of conversation, no sleepovers, and no socializing/involvement in each other's lives (I was the one who initiated these rules, which he happily agreed to). It was perfect. We texted almost every day and saw each other about 3 times per week.
Then 1 week ago, while on an out of state trip, he texted me saying he'd "broken his promise :)", had feelings for me, and wanted to be exclusive. I'm usually a relationship girl so I agreed to try things out. When he got back we spent the night together. It was sweet, the sex was better, he showed me pictures of his family, and I caught him watching me sleep. The next morning we cuddled a bit and then parted ways.
He didn't text me for two days. When he did, it was much less flirtatious. I said we should get together, and he immediately texted back with "is that code for lets have a serious talk?". I said no, and he suggested a movie. Movie was fun, he put his arm around me, we chatted normally, and went back to his apartment. No moves were made. I said I had to leave, and met no resistance. He walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight.
I playfully called him out on his aloofness, and pointed out that he was making me come to him, and that i didn't like it. He made an understated joke about how maybe that was his game. 24 hours later: no contact.
He's a self proclaimed emotionally unavailable guy, and I respect that. He's been with a lot of women but has only been exclusive with a few. When we were hooking up, he talked about it pretty openly. I just got out of a 2 year relationship so I understand baggage. But he was the one who wanted to make this something more. Exclusivity should mean an End to game-playing, not a beginning.
It's like asking for a relationship was his perverse way of claiming the emotional upper hand.
All I want is consistency. He can be a guilt-free hookup buddy or a boyfriend, I honestly don't care, I just don't want to play games. Why is he behaving like this and what should I do?
