New relationship paranoia
Hello, sorry I haven't formally posted in the new member section yet but this issue has gotten my mind so cloudy I just have to get it off of my chest.
So i am now in my first relationship. I wa sseeing this guys starting three months ago and then dating him for about a month and a half. I don't know how relationships are supposed to be and i have a history of anxiety, depression all that good stuff. I do try to stay positive but whenever I have feelings for someone I get a horrible feeling that they will leave me and lose all interest. Any little behavior to support that idea I over analyze. Or are my instincts right?
When we first started going out and getting to know eachother, it started out to be a once a week thing. From those meetings we both learned that we are very shy and somewhat awkward, neither of us much relationship experience. He has also told me that i intimidated him, and he says I still do. time went on and he finally kissed me and blah blah blah after three months he asked me to be his girlfriend. Also during the time we werrent dating we often went out alone just the two of us, mind you it felt awkward becuase we are both so shy. Now here are my concerns. Since we have been dating:
- we do see eachother about three times a week, but I feel like its not enough, though when I think about if we did see eachother more, i would feel suffrocated and im sure he would too. Also he texts me everyday to see how my day was. Ans then comes up with lame excuses why he cant see me. like hes too tired or something. The only time he does see me is when its convienient for him and him only.
-we dont really spend alone time together. we never go out alone anymore. the only time is when all his friends go to bed and were sitting on the couch alone, or when he comes over to spend the night. Which is another thing, he only spends the night twice a week. I thought guys wanted to sleep with their girlfriend all the time? I just seems like he won't go out of his way to see me anymore. Like its not at the top of his list.
-when we do see eachother it goes really well. and i believe its good again. Then i day passes and my head gets cloudy. There are some psitive things he does too. Hes always holding my hand or sneaking a kiss even around his friends. But sometimes i feel like he just keeps me around to show me off. He does little things like buying me a single flower when we are out. when he does spend the night he is very respectful and caring and passionate enough to make me feel like this trouble is all worth it.
-am i expecting too much from him?
-do you think its going well from your experiences?
-why do i feel like i think about him all the time and he doesnt think of me at all?
-is it normal for guys to want to hang out with friends all the time weather im included or not?
-is sleeping together only twice a week normal? mind you we work exact opposite schedules. he works days i work nights. but his day shifts start at 11 am and only go till 3 so i dont buy that "im too tired" bullcrap
-uggg am I just looking for something to obsess about?
and here is some background information. he is young, 23 i am 20. I did lose my virginity to him. His last girlfriend was 2 years ago that didnt end so well, she cheated on him multiple times. I am his third real girlfriend in his lifetime. and like i said we are both closed introverts with personal issues. But he has told me straight out he is done with games and he wouldnt be with me if he didnt feel it, though he could just be trying to avoid confrontation. I dont know I could talk circles about this i just can't shake this dreadful feeling. I am sick of crying over what could be and hopefully is nothing. Just the fact that he doesnt chase me like he used to really bothers me. But is it normal for that part to be over now that we are together?
