2 years feels like 2 months

Hi all

Been going out with this great girl for 2 years. We are talking marriage and I am hoping an engagement is soon to come. But there are a few things keeping me from that as of now.

I stated the subject as 2 years feels like 2 months because she lives at home with her folks and we only see each other 2-3 times a week. She never spends the night at my place. If we go out of town which is only occasionally, 2-3 times a year, we will sleep together. It seems her folks are against her spending the night at my place or within the city where we live. No problems when out of town. I don't understand that, whats the difference. We're both old enough to be treated as adults, I'm 30, she's 27. Her parents like me, thats not an issue. They are church goers but are not die-hard protestants or anything. Anyway, we can go _months_ without spending a night and it is really hard. She knows how I feel but tries to avoid the issue. I have to wait til marriage which at the earliest is another year. I think thats crazy.

When we do spend time together, its mostly on a social outing with her friends or my friends, or going to a movie etc. There has to be more steps involved before getting engaged. This feels like dating and we should be beyond that. I have so many friends living with their bf's/gf's and my gf can't spend a night with me.

There's a couple of other reasons but I don't want to post them to be honest...but this is my main concern. Even if we got engaged today, I can't expect things to change but be status quo until marriage. I can't jump into marriage from this stage in a relationship. I need some preparation and get my feet wet, ie, spend more time together and not see her go home at 11pm. Its hard when you spend an intimate evening together and then have your gf up and leave.

I'm on the brink of telling her enough is enough and time to take some steps out of the nest and become an adult. Her parents will get over it. But I don't know what to be doing anymore.

Thanks for the vent

She's...27?

Argentina cries for you my friend.

She cant spend the night somewere and she is 27? may she is doing it by choice?

Any trip out of town is not an issue and she doesn't have a problem with it. But spending the night at my place or even a local bed and breakfast for example for a romantic night, is out of the question.

We just got back from an over-nighter out of town and the thought of another few months before another night together is giving me a lump in my throat. :sad2:

Not sure I get the Argentina comment...I guess I missed that movie haha

I dunno dude, I think that's completely rediculous, if you can hang in there great.

But if you can't, there's no blamin' you on my end, shes' the one bein' extreme here.

Wow, and I thought my situation was rough. I think you really need to talk to this girl... well 27, she's a woman. Tell her exactly how you feel, and what you feel you need from the relationship. Don't force her into anything obviously, but let her know that you are hurting and you want more. Maybe you guys can work something out. Hang in there hun!

i think my mouth dropped open when you said she was 27. thats really rough. You need to get her to be straight with you about why she's doing this and don't let her blame it on her parents, she obviously has issues with it as well. Tell her that you can't move forward until it gets resolved. Better to get everything in the open I say otherwise you wont move forward.

Thanks all for your input.

My strategy is to start planting the seed that I'm not happy about this. I rather have her thinking about some inconspicuous things I have said versus laying all this on her in one blow. I find she always analyzes things I say wondering if there something more I meant.

I'll post updates when they happen :upset: