Serious second opinion needed on a serious situation...
Looking for a second opinion on a serious situation..
BACKGROUND INFO OF OUR RELATIONSHIP:
I'm going to make this as simple and straightforward as possible.
I'm currently a full time college student and I also work a full time job.
I fell in love with a girl, let's say 4 months ago?
I made the initial approach. From the beginning of my pursuit, I found this girl to be worth my time... I wouldn't continue to pursue if I didn't feel that way.
I am continuing because:
I've been spending a lot of my free time with her and I really enjoy her company. We go out, but we don't have to go out to have fun and enjoy ourselves. I like that.
I want to continue this relationship because she has been a very positive influence in my life and she helped me to see a side that I didn't know I had.
She also does really nice things for me like create collages of pictures we have taken together, make things for me and write romantic things that mean a lot to me. She has the not only the personality but also the brains and looks. With that being said, now maybe you can understand why I am continuing my pursuit.
She is a psychology major and her main hobby/passion is dance.
I am a Diesel Mechanics major and I may go onto engineering after this, but my main hobby/passion is fitness.
BACKGROUND OF THE SITUATION:
We have never really had any major problems.
I once asked her straight up if she's wasting my time, because this is important to me. Her response was no, she's not wasting my time. That waS basically all I needed to hear, was that reassurance. I think at this point she needed reassurance also, which leads us to the situation..
During this one month winter/Christmas break, she went to go visit her family far away... Which isn't a problem. I didn't go with her because I'm not yet ready for that. I'm busy doing my own thing out here right now but on our next break, I am planning on going out there with her. Our ultimate goal is to progress our relationship to the point where we won't only be going on vacations together, but we will be living together etc.
We talk every day, we Skype, etc.
I'm happy for her that she is able to see her family and friends.
I am also a quite passionate person so by nature, so of course I miss her. I feel obsessive to a certain point, not in a bad way... Just in the way that I think about her a lot and I can't wait to see her again.
THE SITUATION:
I think she's trying to evaluate our relationship to see if i'm wasting her time or not. Nothing wrong with that, I asked her the same question at one point.
The part I would like a second opinion on is as follows:
A few days leading up to this point, her voice on the phone seemed to sound more dull than usual. When I noticed this, I tried to explain how I miss her, but it didn't come out how I wanted it to.
Initial phone conversation:
Her: "I would like you to seriously think about this question, and don't give me an answer until you are ready...
Are you in love with me, or are you in love with love?"
At this point, I put a lot of thought into our relationship and I have no doubt that I want to continue to further pursue it.
About 8 hours later, our text conversation went like this:
Me: In love with love
Me: What a wierd thing. Ive been doing some research on this and it's definitely not me. I am in love with YOU.
Her: If ur in love with just love then I don't know if it's gonna work...
Me: Sometimes I get obsessive, but hey I'm a passionate person and there's nothing I can do about it lol.I'm just gonna have to learn to deal with my obsessiveness. Can you deal with it? I hope you can, but if you can't then I'm not going to try to force you, and I can't change myself for you either! I truly do love you and I'm not in love with love. I'm in love with you and that's a fact. But the bottom line is that I don't want you to be unhappy with my obsessiveness and passionate tendencies!
Me: I respect you more than anyone no matter what and I'm going to give you a while to think about this; however long you need. I love you but if you are unhappy with my obsessiveness and passionate tendencies then I can't change myself for you.
Her: I'm not unhappy, I just want you to be sure. Now that I know you truly love me I can tell you what has been on my mind... For the past few days I have been contemplating two decisions: to go back next semester or not.
I wouldn't go back because my friends think Dylan(her new dance partner) and I can go far in dance and they really like us.
Her: But I've already made my decision. I'm going to go back. If I didn't I feel like I would regret it. Dance is my passion, but not my life.
Her: So I needed to know that you truly love me.
.................At this point said some more positive things but then I was like, f*** this, no more of this text bullsh*t, I'm going to call her. It's the second best thing to talking in person, and I can't talk in person because shes thousands of miles away.
So I called her and reassured her that she made the right decision, then we just talked about some random funny stuff for a while after that. And we are on good terms.
Ok guys, this is where I would like a second opinion. What does this mean? What is she saying? Could she possibly have got this close to this guy "Dylan", her dance partner, within one week, for her to question our 4 months together in love? What does that mean? Am I overthinking this? Should I just not question it?
My instinct is to pursue this relationship regardless of anything because I truly am in love.
Thanks in advance for any input. Much appreciated.
