Help me figure out what the deal is
Hi all I am new here and I need your help and advice. Here's the story....
I met this guy at work and we became really good friends. He had a girlfriend and I was married, so we were just friends...well over the course of the next year I got a divorce and he and his girlfriend broke up. Him and shared an office by that time so while he was going through his break up him and I became very close. In the next 3 months, he lost his job and I wondered where we would go from there.
Well our relationship just grew (still as just friends). We met up at least 2-3 times a week for lunch and 1-2 times a week for dinner. We either talked on the phone or texted or IM'd every day for the next 2 months. We went out together on group dates. We were not really a "couple" but people saw us that way. Everyone knew that we were together, but not together. We went out one night with friends and he kissed me and hung on me, grabbing my hand and holding it, etc. The next weekend we went to a friends house and ended up getting a hotel room. He asked me to stay with him in his bed. As we laid there he ran his fingers through my hair, kissed me, etc until we fell asleep. The next day we spent the day together. He took me to meet his friends, we went shopping, he took me to meet his family. Later that night I went home and he called me a couple of times to make sure that I was ok. The next weekend he went with me to myhometown and met my family. We had a great time, again getting a hotel room. But nothing major happened. We just help each other until we fell asleep.
The next week, he called me and told me that his mother was trying to set him up with a girl from his mom's work. The girl is newly separated from her husband and has kids. He has always said that he would never ever date a girl with kids. He told me about her on Thursday and we were supposed to go out with friends on Friday. Well our plans fell through b/c a lot o fthe people couldnt make it so we cancelled. The next day I found out that he had had a date with the new girl on Friday and another with her kids on Saturday. On Sunday we never talked. This was the first time in months that we had no contact for an entire day.
The next day he IM'd me and instantly knew that I was mad. I told him that I didn't appreciate him lying to me (I thought that he had lied to me about cancelling Friday so that he could go out w her). Anyway, that night he called me and we talked for 3 hors about us. We talked about how we were "When Harry Met Sally". I told him that I was a little jealous because we had made plans (as friends) and if he had a girlfriend none of our plans would happen. He told me that noone would ever replace me he told me that I was his voice of reason, his ying when he yanged, etc. He called me sweetie and blah, blah, blah. I thought everything was fixed.
Since then we have been to eat once (its been 3 weeks). He calls me maybe once a day. He never IM's me and never texts me. When we talk now its because there is a reason. We just never talk anymore.
What should I do? I don't know if he is even seeing this girl or not. He is very stand offish with me. It is killing me to have someone there 24/7 and now I see it as a treat if he calls. Did he like me, but I was to stand offish with him? I didn't always reciprocate his signs of affection because I was worried about our friendship. But I can't figure out if we were "just" friends why would his dating stop our relationship. If we were "just" friends shouldn't we still be the same? Or do you guys think that we were more than "just" friends? Please help me.....thanks for taking the time to read this. Oh btw I am 28 and he is 29.
