Ladies

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Originally Posted by Primo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I do think people that are relatively happy, but perhaps there was a void in the relationship they weren't consciously aware of, maybe intimacy or spontaneity, passion...all the sudden they find themselves in a situation with someone they have chemistry with, that person fills that void and it happens. What you want to do, what you know you should do goes out the window and that moment of heated passion takes over.

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Have you read Dune, Primo? That would be the test of reason, wouldn't it? Mind over instinct. Not too many consciously think of it as such in the moment, but that's what it is. It requires a good sense of one's real priorities, I think, to make a good decision in such moments.

In my opinion, the reason people 'fail' this test isn't because they are weak or bad people (I believe most people's intentions are good), its because they never took the time to understand their own motivations a priori. Taking a long, deep think about our gibbering monkey navel is a daunting, but worthwhile task.

there's no guarantees on who will cheat and who won't. if you choose someone you trust than you either live with the uncertainty or you can drive yourself crazy or be a complete stalker trying to find out. it is weakness that makes people cheat but most people are weak. especially to the powers of passion.

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Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's in my nature. I am perfectly happy focusing all my attention on one person... trying my damnedest to make them happy.

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Well, then you are safe from this particular difficulty, D. Lucky you!

But, I think Primo is meaning those situations where walking away *isn't* easy. That's the 'feet to the fire' part. Everyone has their triggers. Some just have them in non-standard locations.

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Originally Posted by CocoChanel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Does anyone here believe that giving into temptation is a sign of weakness?

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I don't :-) We're human beings after all, not constructs.

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

there's no guarantees on who will cheat and who won't. if you choose someone you trust than you either live with the uncertainty or you can drive yourself crazy or be a complete stalker trying to find out. it is weakness that makes people cheat but most people are weak. especially to the powers of passion.

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I don't give my heart, my passion, my trust very easily. But when I do I'm an 'all in' type of person. I give it to you completely and don't ever look over my shoulder or 'wonder'.

that's good. are you single? if so your future girlfriend/ wife will be very lucky.

More than that, Primo, I hope your lady can reciprocate in kind. I've known only two men of your sort (closely--I'm sure there are more). There's an intensity to this mindset that has very many advantages. But there's a dark flip side to this shiny coin.

I think any man/woman has the capacity to cheat. But i do also think that if they are truly happy in the relationship then they wont give in to temptation- no matter what it is

Thanks miso, that's very nice of you to say :-)

I don't know if it's good or not, it's just how I am and I can count quite safely on one hand whom I've given that to. I've been caught up in the percentages on both sides...and you're right Indi, but a really keen eye can see quite well in that darkness :-)

This thread is a great reminder to quit talking about myself and get back to helping my fellow LF guys and gals :-D

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Originally Posted by Primo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This thread is a great reminder to quit talking about myself and get back to helping my fellow LF guys and gals :-D

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Ah, well, it nearly worked... :evil:

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ah, well, it nearly worked... :evil:

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I already know you're just as cute and 'almost' as clever as you are gifted :detective

...of course it couldn't be any other way could it :-P

;)

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, then you are safe from this particular difficulty, D. Lucky you!

But, I think Primo is meaning those situations where walking away *isn't* easy. That's the 'feet to the fire' part. Everyone has their triggers. Some just have them in non-standard locations.

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I think everyone has triggers to want to leave in certain situations -- some do so by leaving the relationship completely, and others only go so far as to leave one bed in favor of another.

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Originally Posted by Primo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't :-) We're human beings after all, not constructs.

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Weakness is still weakness -- it's not overlooked simply because the person themself is inherently weak. However, people are changeable/adaptable when they put forth genuine effort.

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Originally Posted by Primo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't give my heart, my passion, my trust very easily. But when I do I'm an 'all in' type of person. I give it to you completely and don't ever look over my shoulder or 'wonder'.

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I can certainly relate. It's a mentality that keeps you from questioning yourself when a relationship fails, because you know you gave it your all.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

More than that, Primo, I hope your lady can reciprocate in kind. I've known only two men of your sort (closely--I'm sure there are more). There's an intensity to this mindset that has very many advantages. But there's a dark flip side to this shiny coin.

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The darkside of this kind of personality is that rebuilding trust is next to impossible when they've been wronged. They do not hold grudges per se, but they do try to avoid making the same mistake twice -- usually meaning they rarely give people second chances, especially in matters of love.

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Originally Posted by Primo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I already know you're just as cute and 'almost' as clever as you are gifted :detective

...of course it couldn't be any other way could it :-P

;)

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Oh. You are *really* good. LOL.

In my opinion cheating is always a sign of weakness. You can say "we are all only human" and "nobody's perfect" all day, but those are really just excuses made by people who cant own up to their own failures.

Someone said that given the absolute perfect conditions there is the possibility that anyone will cheat, and while that may technically be true that is not a valid argument as it can be said about anything. Hell, you could say that given the absolute right conditions you could make Ghandi commit murder, but "perfect circumstances" are neither a realistic nor valid argument...

Our society has evolved to the point where the average person (meaning someone without mental/social disabilities) is capable of distinguishing between logic and instinct and therefore cant be "forced" into cheating simply by being presented with the option. If someone really cares about and respects their current partner then they are more than capable of remaining faithful.

I don't mean to come off as sounding high and mighty, its just that I believe the worst crime you can ever commit is betrayal of trust, and therefore anyone that cheats will have forever lost my respect.