Rent in a relationship

First, I want to say that I understand why you're speaking in third person, but it is still really annoying and I doubt it will help you prove the point any better. I don't know your SO though.

Secondly, Partner 2 is not only selfish, but an idiot. Partner 2 making $30,000/year is taxed at 15% while Partner 1 is being taxed at 25%, and once you throw in the deductions for your "significant" student loan bills, Partner 1 and Partner 2 are making very close to the same amount. Certainly not disparate enough to warrant any significant difference in rent being paid.

Fair is fair. You're both get the same thing, you both should pay the same thing. Sounds like Partner 2 has a case of trying to keep up with the Jones', and not only that, wants Partner 1 to pull their weight too. I'm going to go out on an extremely sexist limb, and guess that Partner 2 is the female.

I don't care who makes what and what bills/loans who has to pay. Two people living in one flat = rent is divided equally.

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Originally Posted by pacardi [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Partner 2 believed it was a fair alternative, given the disparity between relative incomes. Both receive the same benefit of a nicer place, while Partner 2 is willing to sacrifice much more, relative to his/her total income.

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LOL! You are being taken for a ride, my friend. Partner 2 isn't 'sacrificing' anything, she is trying to swindle you into giving HER a better home than she could afford on her own.

Split it evenly based on what you *both* can afford, almost everyone is saying so. If you feel some guilt about making more money (and don't b/c that can change on a dime in today's economy), take her out for a nice meal on occasion.

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Originally Posted by BackUpOrGetStng [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Secondly, Partner 2 is not only selfish, but an idiot. Partner 2 making $30,000/year is taxed at 15% while Partner 1 is being taxed at 25%, and once you throw in the deductions for your "significant" student loan bills, Partner 1 and Partner 2 are making very close to the same amount.

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Nice point!

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

LOL! You are being taken for a ride, my friend. Partner 2 isn't 'sacrificing' anything, she is trying to swindle you into giving HER a better home than she could afford on her own.

Split it evenly based on what you *both* can afford, almost everyone is saying so. If you feel some guilt about making more money (and don't b/c that can change on a dime in today's economy), take her out for a nice meal on occasion.

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Okay, here's the revelation. I'm the one making the $30,000. I'm male. I'm also two years younger, and therefore two years lower on the career ladder.

I have to say, the single argument I find most compelling is the tax argument. After taxes, her base salary is only about $5,000 more than mine -- which is much closer than it initially appears. (The student loan interest deduction doesn't matter because she gets the full $2500 deduction as well.)

I can honestly say there is no attempt at "swindling" going on here. There may be a degree of wanting to keep up with the Joneses, and that's something I'll have to work on. (Hope that's a lesson also to the person who made the sexist remark as though women are the only ones who care a little too much about appearances.)

One additional complication is that, yes, $900 or so should get us a pretty nice place, but we have a dog. That means many places won't rent to us, and the ones that will, almost always charge extra. It's not a total loss, but it does make it more difficult to find a place that isn't disgusting... in a nice part of town... that allows dogs... that has hardwood floors... and an in-unit washer dryer... to satisfy all mutual desires.

We haven't come to a definite agreement yet, but if I had to guess, I'd say she will pay UP TO her initial offer of $500... and I'll make up the difference depending on just how important that nice house in a nice neighborhood is to me... which means we'll probably end up paying an equal amount of the rent, maybe 450-450.

I posted on another forum as well. The verdict over there was much more balanced, and much less derisive. Maybe I deserve it. Maybe I don't.

Either way, thanks for all your opinions. I didn't ask because I wanted confirmation to use as an argument with her. More for my own benefit... a gut check of sorts, so this was helpful. Thanks.

I think I am the only person who favours scaling, but my situation was different, my GF moved into my house with a mortgage. It simply isn't feasible to splite 50/50 because I make 60k/yr whereas she barely makes 25k and my mortgage is well over $1000/mo.

If it were rent only, I think I would also favour finding out the most the lowest income person (person 2) is willing to pay, and match that. So if $450 is your max, then go for $900 and everyone is happy. Honestly, its still quite low for rent payments per person so you should have some extra cash to go out and have fun.

As for the career ladder thing, thats BS. I'm 3 years junior to my gf, but I've managed to accomplish much more from a career level.

The sexist part of my comment wasn't aimed at keeping up with the Jones' but at the fact that you are trying to get someone to pull your weight for you, financially.

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Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As for the career ladder thing, thats BS. I'm 3 years junior to my gf, but I've managed to accomplish much more from a career level.

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Yes, but we work in different fields. I work in a specific field that's highly competitive yet makes much less than many people think. On the other hand, she has a more traditional business-oriented position and probably makes better than average money for what she does. I could be two years AHEAD of her in terms of professional experience, and she'd still probably be making 25% more than me.

What is she? A receptionist?

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Originally Posted by thiudiskr [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't care who makes what and what bills/loans who has to pay. Two people living in one flat = rent is divided equally.

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Exactly!

This entire thread is adsurd. Although youre not getting married, You are both lovers and making a life together. Time to be an adult