Thinking the grass is greener

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I was not referring to them. Everytime someone disagrees with you-you attack with your insults. You might be older than me WU but defo way more immature.

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This isn't about disagreeing. There is nothing wrong with disagree and debate.. My contentions are about your blanket statements and denying what you've said and back-pedalling with "that's what I meant" or "thats not what I meant" or.. your "get a life's" when you're assertions are challenged or accusations of who we are and what we do with our time here, when you're here just as much as we are. You make it like your the only one with valid reasons to be here... everyone else "needs to get a life."

Anyway: Michelle, do you know what gaslighting is? If you don't then I suggest you look it up because you're very good at it.

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

maybe everyone should get relationship guidance in school lol :)

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^^^ I agree with that.

maybe everyone should get relationship guidance in school lol :)

I'll teach!

"All right, ya dumb children; today's lesson is all about broads in 'Murrica these days.."

Do most/all/many they think the grass is greener?

Of course. It's a consequence of living in a better society; more options so we get deluded into thinking there's an even better opportunity elsewhere. Pretty much an ironic cause of dissatisfaction.

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I've noticed that this happens to people a lot.

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I haven't seen it happen at all. I've seen people leave relationships and marriages, but in all cases, they were unhappy in the relationship.

I'm wondering how you know people are leaving perfectly good relationships. I mean, a few people were shocked when I left my ex-h because they thought it was all OK. But the truth was that I hadn't been sharing my dirty laundry with all and sundry.

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And what about people who dump a long term partner for someone else? That is just plain wrong. Jumping from one person to the next without a break in between. Why do people do that? Again is it insecurity? Emotional immaturity? Fear of being alone?

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My sister left her emotionally abusive ex for someone else. At the time, she said that knew that the new relationship may not work out, but she recognised that this new guy was a lifeline for her and he gave her the strength and courage to leave. The whole family supported her actions because we were glad to see her leave the manipulations of the ex and the new guy seemed nice enough. As it turned out, the new guy is awesome and they've now been happily married for 10 years and he's taken on her kids as his own.

I don't view the new husband as horrible for having slept with a married women - I view him as the man who saved my sister and her children from a life in hell. I can't see her actions as "just plain wrong" because it's so great to finally see her happy and standing tall.

Well, I would like to agee with Woody Allen (or it were only his heroe's words) in his film "Vicky Cristina Barcelona". I dont know if everybody saw it or no... Well, the point is that the person finally leaves the great, peaceful relationships not because she doesnt like her lover or her position. Just deeply inside she feels not satisfied with what she has because she didnt find the Men of her dreams which suits her perfectly. Just for my opinion you may stop only 1)when you feel love (not comfort and respect), 2) when you found your Only One. I dont know, I really think that if you find a person and completely believe that he is your destiny (and he thinks the same) you dont need to continue your researches. Why we can feel this with a place but not with a person?

THANK GOD! A fellow Woody Allen fan (?) but yes, I LOVED the hell out of that film which is needless to say since virtually everything he does is a masterpiece and works of unadulterated GENIUS.

WU

i have not backpeddled-i stick to everything i have said here but you have taken some of the things ive said here in the wrong way.

the only reason i told you to get a life was because you were being ridiculous a.d childish saying lol in bold mocking me and then bringing up my past and using that against me just to try and annoy me. you were being immature there not me. i never told anyone to get a life "for disagreeing with me"

i never said anything about other people spending time on this forum. that was actually thrown at me and i never said i am the only person with a valid reason to be here. i dont know where you got that from.

i looked up gaslighting. can u give me one example of when i did that? you are the one that enjoys attacking others here. lol in bold, implying that i am some how ****ed up coz of my past. you no nothing about me. i am here to give people good advice which i have been doing based on my own opinion. i never said any of it was fact.

you keep addressing me and then you say "as long as you keep addressing me, ill keep replying" even though you are the one that starts it 90% of the time.

from day 1 since i joined u have been trying to wind me up. someone even pulled you up on it before saying "lay off the newbies" and i said im not bothered.

you come across as bitter and twisted to me. as someone who enjoys putting others down. i have not done that and you have the nerve to accuse me who psychological abuse. again i ask you to give me an example?

i have gone out of my way numerous times to respond to your attacks in a mature fashio. only one of us is a "silly little girl" and its not me

basilandthyme. when there is abuse in a relationship-all rules go out the window and i respect oyour sister for getting out.

i however, was not talking about abusive relationships but i take your point on board and agree with you.

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

WU

i have not backpeddled-i stick to everything i have said here but you have taken some of the things ive said here in the wrong way.

the only reason i told you to get a life was because you were being ridiculous a.d childish saying lol in bold mocking me and then bringing up my past and using that against me just to try and annoy me. you were being immature there not me. i never told anyone to get a life "for disagreeing with me"

i never said anything about other people spending time on this forum. that was actually thrown at me and i never said i am the only person with a valid reason to be here. i dont know where you got that from.

i looked up gaslighting. can u give me one example of when i did that? you are the one that enjoys attacking others here. lol in bold, implying that i am some how ****ed up coz of my past. you no nothing about me. i am here to give people good advice which i have been doing based on my own opinion. i never said any of it was fact.

you keep addressing me and then you say "as long as you keep addressing me, ill keep replying" even though you are the one that starts it 90% of the time.

from day 1 since i joined u have been trying to wind me up. someone even pulled you up on it before saying "lay off the newbies" and i said im not bothered.

you come across as bitter and twisted to me. as someone who enjoys putting others down. i have not done that and you have the nerve to accuse me who psychological abuse. again i ask you to give me an example?

i have gone out of my way numerous times to respond to your attacks in a mature fashio. only one of us is a "silly little girl" and its not me

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Yes, yes. you're completely innocent as usual and here isn't much point in going back and showing you where you don't see what I'm talking about. My bad for calling you a "silly little girl." The rest is werd, whether you can see it or not. That's okay. I'm not the only one that sees it and if you can't, then I guess we'll just keep disagreeing with one another as long as you keep addressing me. If you don't talk to me, i'd not answer you.

are you going to answer my question? never said i am completely innocent. i already apologized to you for "my blanket statements" and told you not to take everything i say literally. im irish-that is how we speak. one thing i say could mean another.

example: i was scared could come out as i nearly died, nearly had a heart attack etc

Sorry, but you can't expect anyone to believe you if you say one thing but actually mean another. No point in continuining this discussion because you're not understanding what I mean by gaslighting when you confuse what you do with exageration.

ill just take it that your just throwing that word around then since you cant back up what you said and give me an answer.

i dont need to explain or justify myself to you. why dont you just do your thing and ill do mine?

i think you give good advice wakeup and i think we agree on a lot of things but your like a dog with a bone trying to annoy me. maybe you just dont like the competition when others give good advice?

anyway have fun with your next attack on me. ill be waiting

Whatever! If that makes you feel you're saving face (or keeps your own ego in tact) its fine with me.