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Well, if she CHOOSES not to work then she's screwing herself. He's not responsible for her as a human being. If she's incapable of working she's also eligible for unemployment, but she's perfectly capable of working. Alimony and child support are two different things here in the states. Or am I wrong about that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolicoeur [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ha, not a chance. I'm no lawyer. Only now have you managed to insult me (joking, sort of).Quote:
Originally Posted by muddblood [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well, I would say you should be the one to leave, but this is where you should get some legal advice. There can be penalties for leaving (abandonment?) without counting your ducks. Get something in writing, like a separation agreement, if this is where you are headed.Quote:
That makes a lot of sense! Sorry for the name calling. I sure feel trapped!!! So lets say alimony happens; how is she gonna leave now? Do I get another place for her now, or say here's money find your own place? A couple of my friends say I give her 60 days to get a job or she's off to live with her mom in OH.
Oh, I have no idea. I just made up those numbers b/c they seemed reasonable for the amt of time they've been married. I don't think a judge can force anyone to pay for someone else forever tho. Alimony isn't for kids, tho, that would be child support, they are different I think. Again, tho, I am not an expert on this subject.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolicoeur [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sorry for the delay in responding, I had to run to the store and cook dinner (yes I can cook and much more gooder (Yes I know gooder is not a word) than my wife). I've done this through numerous emails (haha, electronic paper trail!), and the funny thing is when I told her about my feelings for this girl at work way back in late January/early February, SHE is the one that said if the sadness and depression (on her end) don't go away soon, we'll have to split up. Now it's 7-8 months later, she is MORE depressed than ever, seeing a psychiatrist and on antidepressants, and I say lets get divorced, she doesn't want to. I'm even to the point that I've cut her off sexually and I've been sleeping on the couch for the past 3-4 months, (don't worry, it's quite comfy and super huge). My wife as so much junk that it's almost be easier for me to leave.Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
WOW!!! So many posts I can't keep up!!!
HeartIsAching - Most wonderful post, and it really does anwser my question. Thank you very, very much!!! You seem like a quiet person, but this is EXACTLY how I feel toward this girl at work.
Maxmax - At least the pizza and ice cream won't ever break your heart. Sure, you'll run out, but you can always get more at the store!
Jolicoeur - WOW!!! So much to say, but first I'm so sorry you will never get your love. There will be other though, I promise. Rescue my girl? I don't want to rescue her or save her. I did that with my wife and look where we are now. She even told me I saved her and wrote a story about me saving. I'm done saving people. I hear ya about coping with the feelings and the agony. I spent about 10 of those 18 years knowing in my heart my high school sweetheart would come back to me and we'd live happily ever after. Never happened, BUT once I realized and understood my feelings for this girl at work, I also realized I was holding onto my feelings for my high school sweetheart. Basically just found someone else to cling too, just like I will do again and again and again till I find what I am looking for. And yes the way you feel about this girl is the EXACT same way I feel about the girl I work with. I just wanted to make sure I was truly feeling "love" cause I've only felt that for one other - my high school sweetheart.
lahnnabell - Men get screwed big time in divorce settements, even though I have the stable job and healthcare and car and house and the means to support myself and the kids. If we don't use mediation, I'm gonna fight for full custody no matter how much it costs. I've already looked into it and if we were married for 20 or more years, she'd be eligible for lifetime alimony. I'm NOT gonna wait that long. I'll let everyone know what the lawyer says.
IndiReloaded - Lawyer=insult but a hole does not? I'm beginning to like you! I feel like I should leave too because I am the one that WANTS to leave, but the dilemma is the house - it's my name on the mortgage and my credit and my money paying for it. My friends say I need to kick her out cause she's done nothing to help fincancially. And yes, alimony or spousal support is different AND SEPERATE from child support.
Whew, I think I got everyone. If not, I'll re-read all this and reply back.
LOL, I'm anything but quiet. I'm brash, extroverted and loud... but I've achieved some peace and clarity in my life in the last couple of years, and I've gotten married to the perfect (for me) woman.Quote:
Originally Posted by muddblood [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I don't think I even believe in love per se. I haven't experienced it yet and with all the shit going on in the world, I think our world is seriously lacking it.
Love is this ...
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I am so jealous - I WISH I married the perfect woman (for me). Good for you that you've achieved peace and clarity.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That is my biggest problem now - I have changed drastically and I feel like a completely different person, and I am just now beginning to love myself. Oh and i don't really trust myself either. I'm screwed!Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaLoveless [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Awwwww...that's too bad. I have experienced love only twice in my life, but one woman wants nothing to do with me, but still greatly enjoy talking to her every day.Quote:
Originally Posted by uri [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
maxmax, what do you mean that love is blind? Funny picture though!
Make no mistake - it was a long and rocky road. I waited 20 years to get her, but she was worth the wait.Quote:
Originally Posted by muddblood [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If this woman is really worth the wait, she will, and you'll work towards it.
Thanks. I REALLY need to know I'm making the right decision and statements like this make me think I am.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
With the slight difference that I can't stop thinking about her while you seem to be over her and looking for the next one. I don't mean to disrespect your feelings, but to me my girl feels like the one and only, even if I don't believe in this kind of thinking. (Feelings and common sense are two different things).Quote:
Originally Posted by muddblood [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
And how do you know you'll find someone else that makes you feel like that? I've been in love before, but those past feelings were mild compared to what I experience now.Quote:
I just wanted to make sure I was truly feeling "love" cause I've only felt that for one other - my high school sweetheart.
I realise that statistically speaking there must be thousands of other near-perfect girls out there. But I spent decades finding one that I really like, so the probability that I'll find another one soon is very slim. And right now, I don't even want to look for someone else...Quote:
There will be other though, I promise.