Originally Posted by
vertical_sky
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I am coming late to the game, but for me personally, sometimes I don't respond to messages not because the guy isn't attractive, but because there just aren't enough hours in the day (and I still have hopes of an ex, but that is an entirely separate thread.)
That isn't to imply I am all that and a bag of chips.... I've just observed that guys on average are a lot more flippant about sending messages. I have SO many messages in my inbox from guys who write nothing except "Hey." That's it... just "hey." Or "Your cute." (Huge personal turn-off: being unable to differentiate between you're and your.) Even when I delete these messages without opening them up, it's still a time waster. Then there are the messages from guys who don't pass my filter... for instance, on OKCupid, they 1) live outside the area I specify 2) are older than what I stipulated I like and 3) are a 60% match with me on a good day. And yet they still message me! That says to me they don't actually like ME, they're just a message-sending machine to anything that says "female."
Unfortunately, the messages from guys I AM well matched with AND I find attractive get lost among all the awful. Sometimes I'm able to dig them out, but sometimes I don't check my mail for a month, and then only have the energy to respond to the top 5 messages (AFTER cleaning up all the junk.)
So it has absolutely nothing to do with physical attractiveness, and much more to do with having to wade through the messages of muck from guys who think online dating = desperate = I don't have to try = easy hookup!
That said, if a guy's photo is off, his profile has to be pretty darn amazing for me to respond. When I say "off," I don't necessarily mean physical attractiveness.... I mean 1) he stands super far away from the camera 2) all of his photos are from bars and parties 3) his main photo or most of his photos are him with his arm around a gorgeous woman (even if she's your sister, crop her out.) 4) He's striking a "bro" stance/gesture.
Photos that will immediately enhance a guy's physical attractiveness: 1) Him with nieces or nephews (in my deep insecure moments, I was jealous of how my ex lavished so much attention and love on his niece, but DAMN if they weren't absolutely adorable together) 2) travel pictures 3) doing an interesting hobby 4) doing something nerdy/funny (I saw a guy's profile back in October where he was dressed as Darkwing Duck. I messaged him THAT INSTANT.)
A good photo is one that enhances your physical attractiveness by bringing out your personality.
