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Here's the thing: if u tell him then you're "betraying" her but if you tell her then you're "betraying" him. Personally, I would let her know that he asked, knows about these messages and insist that...

I would tell her about your concerns. If you two really love each other as much as you say then you should be able to talk to her about anything. If she gets defensive or angry then you may have a...

I would introduce him to some of your male friends (if possible) and hang out with him in a group a few more times. As the replies say, not all people in bars are bad. So if you're careful and smart...