Originally Posted by
Bekkah_Kathryn
To clear a few things up, I'm 17 right now. I did NOT get pregnant by will. Like I said, he was sexually abusive as well. I was 14 when I was pregnant and 15 when I miscarried. It's most definitely not something I take pride in, and I strongly regret the path I was on. Hence all of the insecurities I have now. We haven't met in person, but we are dating. I believe that you don't have to physically be with a person to get to know them on an intimate level. Thats just my opinion and I can tell you have your own as well. I've known him for longer than a majority of my friends I have now. We have skyped and I know a majority of his family.
Look it.. instead of believing the words of a man that you've never actually met in person (hence why your gut is telling you not to let your emotional guard down) why don't you start seeing a personal therapist to get over your upbringing, your personal relationship past, to learn how to nurture your inner child, to work on honing your personal boundaries, love of self and confidence?
You are in no position to be jumping into anything with some dufus you met on line and is being just as abusive if he's being "clingy" and persisitent.
You won't do this because of the things you need to work on about yourself but you should really tell him that you are in no position to start up anything with any man at this point in your life and you're going to be working on yourself and will have no time to nurture a relationship and go through the fear and angst of something long distance.
This man is a caretaking, white knight type that thinks he can fix you and gets his own self-worth from being needed by vulnerable, codependent women like yourself. He has a set of his own issues because if you think about it. What man in his right mind would want to be with someone he's never met when he knows of the issues she is currently suffering from? A good man, one worth having would distance himself from you until you have come to terms with your codependency, your past abuse and have a good sense of who you are. He wouldn't strive to be with you so he can caretake you through life.
If you want the links to the things I say you need to work on before you get in any other relationship then please let me know. I'll not waste your or my time if you are not going to read them. I will say that if you don't work on things within then you will keep getting with abusive men.. some may not be violent at it but it will still be abuse. (Having White Knight Syndrome like this man appears to have will be psychologically abusive to you and will do nothing to improve on your codependency issues).
I wish you the strength to understand how important it is that you don't meet this guy or any other guy until you've worked on you.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion