Originally Posted by
interracial
Would he run away over this?
Hypothetically speaking, let's say the answer is yes. Do you want to be with someone that you fear would run away over this? I'm thinking the answer is probably no, it would certainly be no if I were you. If you're talking about committing to someone for life, it needs to be someone who's going to accept what you've been through and is willing to work with you on it.
Let's paint an alternate scenario here - it's obvious that your relationship with your mother has been affecting you this whole time and that's probably not going to stop. How long do you think you can hide it? Another year? Even that long? Sooner or later it's going to come out, it's influence on you is too prominent for that not to be the case. So let's say you withhold this information until you've been married for 3 years, have a kid on the way, and THEN he finds out about it and it turns into a gigantic mess that should have been resolved years before. Not exactly an ideal situation is it?
If I were your bf I would absolutely want to know, especially if, as implied by this being in the marriage forum, that a lifelong future together were on the horizon. I wouldn't propose until I found out what something like that was. I would know that it's something that affects you very profoundly and without knowing what it is or if it's something that could affect our relationship years down the road, I would feel like if I were proposing to you I would be proposing blindly, and that's something that I personally am not willing to do, even if I were deeply in love.
For what it's worth, what you're saying about your bf makes it sound like he would be supportive of you if you were to tell him. I know I only have text on a screen to go by but when he says "whenever im ready to talk, he'll be there" that's usually a good sign, it sounds like he knows it's something serious and he's willing to listen and help you through it.
On a final note, bottling this away all this time isn't helping. Being abused and then locking it away inside them without ever properly addressing it and getting the help they need is how people who have been abused become abusers themselves. I'm not saying that this is a foregone conclusion with you but it is something you need to consider if you haven't already.
Last edited by dickriculous; 09-12-14 at 07:21 AM.
They see indoctrination and they call it "morality", "professionalism", or "maturity" depending on the context.