Husband doesn't want sex because I am "Fragile"

[Shapeshiftmage]

I'll begin by saying I was raped when I was 16 and it's haunted me ever since, I recently just married my husband and this is going to be our 6th month together we've been together for 5 years and he's still a virgin as well. He loves me so much and when I told him about how I was raped he comforts me and tells me he will always protect me. I love him very much and I want him to be able to have sex with me without him worrying that he would be hurting me. He says he doesn't want to hurt me and claims I am "Fragile" I tell him that it's I love him and that he shouldn't have to be worried about hurting me, he says he understands but he still has not made a move to have sex with me. What should I do or say to him, I am stuck.

[woody]

Tell him you NEED to replace that horrible memory with a good one. Please allow me to say, I'm so sorry you experienced such a horrific attack. I cannot imagine. I'm so sorry you went through that lady.

You could tell your husband that you two are married now and you need to share a gentle physical intimacy with him. You need to share and be shared with in a loving safe manner. You must replace that old terrible memory with one of love. Perhaps that may help him understand better.
I hope others here can offer you some more words of encouragement.

Again, i'm so sorry you went through such a terrible thing. I hope your alright now; and if your not, I hope you find a way through this.
Making love to your husband and being made love to will be a form of healing for you. I hope your hubby understands this soon.
well wishes to you and yours

[dickriculous]

he still has not made a move to have sex with me

What about you making moves to have sex with him? Have you tried that?

Next time you and he start cuddling, start kissing him. Then gradually make your kissing more passionate as you begin running your hands up and down his body, inside his shirt, etc. Start removing his clothes, push him onto the bed/floor/whatever, mount him and go cowgirl, etc. Or whatever it is you like to do.

If you want something to happen don't just wait for it to happen, make it happen.

[tayhei]

Don't delve into it. Start off slowly. State you want to gradually work up to it and see how it goes because you want the intimacy. You guys can come up with a safe word and keep reassuring him when you want him to keep going. And yes, do initiate being intimate with him. It may be the reason he doesn't start anything because he has too much respect for your feelings to do anything against your wants.

[smackie9]

Obviously you are going to have to prove him wrong. Start by giving each other massages...buy some nice scented oils, light some candles. Get to know each others bodies, and while you are doing this, communicate with each other. Verbally say where you want to be touched and how, then ask him how and where. If things are more comfortable stimulate genitals with hands, if not then stop cuddle and relax without the stress of sexual expectation. A few days later try again with massage but this time also use kisses on the body, taking time to enjoy and explore, and again if you don't want to take it any further, cuddle relax, communicate. So each time, when you both feel comfortable, do a little more....all the while communicate with positive re-enforcement, say things like how that turns you on, oh I like that etc. Before you know it, sparks will be a flying.

- - - Updated - - -

TBH I think he has virginity anxiety, and I don't think it's all because you were raped. There are guys out there that will come up with every excuse not to have sex because they have tremendous stage fright so bad.

[Wakeup]

I think he's A-Sexual. Good luck and I hope the vibe I got from reading your Op is wrong but I don't know of any man that is with a willing partner that would use YOUR unfortunate rape as a reason to not make love to you. You're even married now which gives him "God's" blessing to covet... Something else is going on with him then being overly concerned about "hurting" you.

Have you considered getting personal therapy if the rape is "still haunting you ever since?" That would be a good place to start. Discuss your husbands aversion to wanting to consummate the marriage with your professional counselor.