Hi Friends
I am 30 years old. I am in a relationship with this guy from 3 years. We had talked about everything (goods and bads) and love each other very much. We decided to get married in June 2013. Before that he did some mistakes, we had fights (ugly ones), but later he made up for all that and won my trust again. whole 2014 went very smoothly. we loving each other more and more everyday.
But later I realized that my family do not like him even though they agreed for our wedding. In our culture your parents decide whom you should marry. After a bit of resistance they gave in and agreed for him. My mom always complained that he is short (few inches higher than me), Dark and from a different community. Dad complained he earns less than you. But to be very honest he is the guy who let me live independently and help me to think straight. I am emotionally weak when it comes to my family and he makes me strong. From my family's behavior, it does not look like they care enough for me. They feel like i am obliged to do what they say and I do not follow same way they start scolding me (even if i am 30...for them i am a girl and i should listen to them). My mom is ashamed of choice i made for my life partner and taunted me many time in many ways.
Then in august my sister came to live with me (I work in different city and she started studying here). She started noticing everything very carefully..the way he walk talk and behave. Whenever we had a fight she told everything at home to my parents. He uses e-cigraette (smoking an drinking is taken very bad as per our culture, I am ok with it) and drinks beer. My sister told everything at home. I got scolding from my parents that is this the type of person you want to be a part of our family. He doesnot suit us at all. everyday same kind of scolding and nagging.
One day we both had an argument and he ended up shouting on me in front of my sister and our best friend. I felt insulted. We later fought when everyone was gone. He apologized for three days. Things got back to normal between us. But my sister made an issue out of it. Few small things like this keep happening.
We both live in same apartment building on same floor. Everytime i go to his flat to get sometime alone for us..my sister keep questioning me why you are going, whats the reason. I had very ugly arguments with her (she ended up pointing finger on my character that i am a slut)..and told everything to my parents that we both spend time each other in his apartment. whenever he comes to my flat, she is so unwelcoming. She dont want to leave me alone for a second. whenever he calls she makes faces.
Within 2 and half months, I have gone through an immense stress and fights with parents, sister and my bf.
On sunday I went to show him my new haircut and he was in bathroom. There was a movie on pause on his laptop so i clicked play. Somehow it minimized the window. The other window which was open was his fake id and he was listed on craiglist asking for "services" - BJ's and NSA. Posts were from atleast a month ago. I was shattered. I confronted him.
My trust is broken. I told him that its over. I broke up with him. He literally held my feet and asked my forgiveness. I never saw him crying and he cried when i walked out. He is begging from me since then. Asking for one chance to improve. hHe said he cannot imagine his life without me.
To be very honest, even i cannot imagine my life without him. 3 years of companionship and love. All my dreams broken in a second. Could not breathe with all this. I am crying my eyes out when i think of living without him. At same time I cannot imagine myself living with him. even though I love him i cannot be with him. We had to part our ways. But from two days he is pursuing me to give him a chnace. We work at same place, live in same building. I am under a lease so cannot leave the place. We have to see each other everyday.
What should i do? My decision for breakup is firm. he is begging one chance from me. but i cannot face him. Everytime he comes in front of me. Something happens to me. He is the guy i devoted my life to. I am in so much love with him, my eyes fills with tears. What to do. Please help. Need you advice urgently.