what do you think about this? am I being played?

[Rubystar2014]

Hi everyone,

hope you all had a great chrissy and are enjoying this festive season, may you be found in peace and content.

I have a question or rather clarification to ask regarding a situation of mine.

Been with a man for 2.5 yrs, ups and downs etc... now we have been off for 3 mths and I can see he is not as warm towards me as I know him to be...

we speak on the fone every now and then but he always tells me the same thing.. I never ask anything of him or push for a relationship or beg him to get back.. just keep saying.. it is what it is , when he starts talking ... becasue i also want to see what I need etc..
however he will say to me like today... I love you but I dont want to hurt you.. if I keep saying that and you keep saying to me that you love me and its like this .. i dont want to hurt you.... he said previously .. he doesn love me but i need to find out what i want.. that i became dfrnt person to what he met me like.. that I was more relaxe and free spirit when we met then i started demanding thigns etc.. anyway I feel dfrtnly but i dont want to argue with him now.. and i just say to him.. there is no need to talk bout that... he said he thinks he needs to find himself and i said well thats ok.. toy do whats right for you.. and I also need to do whats right for me.

i am confused.. I dont know why he tells me he loves me yet he doesnt know what he wants... he keeps bringin in the past and then tells me he doesnt want to hurt me.
is he just being polite .. becasue he is very distant.... i called him today after 6 days of no contact and htats what he tells me.. when I am on the fone.. he wants to keep talking to me... but always just to get the feel how i am or what i been up to.. what i am doing for NYE etc... and just to tell me how he loves me but dont want to hurt my feelings.

whats your advice? after the conversation I just feel sad again and i feel why cant he see his mistakes like i have and then be more positive if he really loves me... instead it feels he kind of acts like.. its a shame.. he loves but dont want to hurt my feelings so thats why he dont call or text.

am i blind? is he saying he is over it?

I will appreciate honesty no matter what , thank you

[Nicky210473]

You're wanting an honest answer and I'm going to give you one. IMO he's not interested. He doesn't love you he wants to know you're still hanging around. Piss him off, kick him to the curb and find a man that will treat you right.. I mean how long do you want this to go on for? Confusion and insecurities should ring alarm bells. If it doesn't feel right the chances are it's not. Cut this loose end, sever it and move on... And don't look back.

[Rubystar2014]

You're wanting an honest answer and I'm going to give you one. IMO he's not interested. He doesn't love you he wants to know you're still hanging around. Piss him off, kick him to the curb and find a man that will treat you right.. I mean how long do you want this to go on for? Confusion and insecurities should ring alarm bells. If it doesn't feel right the chances are it's not. Cut this loose end, sever it and move on... And don't look back.

yes I understand, thank you...

why does he always answer my call and kind of gives me feel that he loves me still but but.. why dont he just say its done.
its not that hard

[Nicky210473]

Because he wants to keep you on a string. Fk him you're better than that. You deserve better. He'll tell you what you want to hear. Sorry I don't mean to be hard or aweful. I'm just being honest and trying to help. Show him what you're worth and get rid of him. Be a strong woman. Don't stand for that shit.

[Rubystar2014]

I know what you mean.. and you are right.. its just hard... he was in love with me and now he treats me like this... i feel crap.
who knows what he is up

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i know he doesnt love me and it hurts.... but why do that to me.. its not right at all

[Nicky210473]

I know it's hard. It hurts and can really get you down to the point you can mope around and not do anything. Respect yourself and give yourself the opportunity to find a decent man that treats your the way you deserve and leave his sorry ass. You're better alone for a while to focus on yourself and leave his sorry ass behind x

[Rubystar2014]

yea.. i know but i just dont want his bs.. i want to have the closure and then i will be fine.

[Nicky210473]

Honey close it yourself. Don't wait for him. You do it. Trust me you'll be glad you did later on. Take control of your life and don't let yourself be controlled x

[Rubystar2014]

he told me he was cleaning his house and he was off to hos sisters.... and i felt not right sbou it... so i went to his hoise... guess wat i foind ?

him and another woman hanging out... i was crushed

[Nicky210473]

Thought so.. He just wanted you hanging around. Nevertheless it doesn't mean he was up to no good but he's obviously pre occupied. I know you're hurting but it will only get worse if you don't get rid of him.

[Wakeup]

yes I understand, thank you...

why does he always answer my call and kind of gives me feel that he loves me still but but.. why dont he just say its done.
its not that hard

He does that to keep you hooked so that he gets no strings attached sex from you. He's playing you, woman. Don't contact him anymore and give yourself the chance to rehab from your addiction to him and should he contact you, Tell him to go fvck himself and leave you the hell alone.

He won't tell you "its done" because he wants non-committed sex... as what he's been getting from you for far too long. Next time don't have sex with a guy until you've established that he wants more then just sex with you.

[woody]

Your man sounds wishy washy and as we all know, wishy wash just doesn't work for us oldschool romantics in search of a true connection.
You asked for honesty so i'll give brute truths with my take on your situation. Drop him. Leading you on and keeping you on his string is very poor form on his part and highly unfair to you and the more you play into it, the more power you give to an unworthy man.
Sure, he may be a nice guy all in all but telling you things like, "I love you but don't want to hurt you" is a COP OUT. Say it with me, "a Cop Out"
It is now up to you to re evaluate your own self worth. Are you honestly willing to spend any more time on one who keeps you on a convenient line yet is unwilling to fully commit? Nah. LIfe's too short already even if we live to 120, why spend time on mr.wrong when a mr. right could be right around the corner.
Raise your bar higher and the Universe will listen.
Ditch the prick and tell him good luck growing a spine, you wish him well but your done with gelatinous creatures.

[Rubystar2014]

Your man sounds wishy washy and as we all know, wishy wash just doesn't work for us oldschool romantics in search of a true connection.
You asked for honesty so i'll give brute truths with my take on your situation. Drop him. Leading you on and keeping you on his string is very poor form on his part and highly unfair to you and the more you play into it, the more power you give to an unworthy man.
Sure, he may be a nice guy all in all but telling you things like, "I love you but don't want to hurt you" is a COP OUT. Say it with me, "a Cop Out"
It is now up to you to re evaluate your own self worth. Are you honestly willing to spend any more time on one who keeps you on a convenient line yet is unwilling to fully commit? Nah. LIfe's too short already even if we live to 120, why spend time on mr.wrong when a mr. right could be right around the corner.
Raise your bar higher and the Universe will listen.
Ditch the prick and tell him good luck growing a spine, you wish him well but your done with gelatinous creatures.

I wont nothing to do with with him.. I cried my eyes put last night.... I am revolted...


the prick called me this morning.. i dont know wtf for.. i wont nothing.. i only answered cuse it had no id caller
but i told him where to go and to never contact me..

belive it or not I org a date for friday... a guy that asked me out when we were tgthr but i was loyal and he didnt know I was taken by this idiot , anyway I will go,

wtf the idiot calls me but last night when i was there and asked him to face me and called him he didnt want to at all... no matter what.. what kind of person calls after that

wtf..

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also just so you all know... I didnt sleep with him like you all think... since we been on this break 3 mths ago... i slept with him 2x but i felt something was up so I wasnt running to him at all.. i wasnt sleeping with him.. and he ddint call me to have a botty call or anything.. so it wasnt like that thank god. i would have hated my self.

[Wakeup]

The point is... YOU DID SLEEP WITH HIM... 2x's. He keeps it up because the chance of getting it again is still there as long as you leave a door open for him to walk through and get it again.

[Rubystar2014]

fair enough, I wish I hadnt...trust me. I feel like a biggest fool.
what a character to have guts to call me but not face me yesterday.
i cant get over it how he thinks its ok
i dont know why he called but either way wtf wtf
wat a knife in my heart... he ripped it open