Controversial relationship! My parents don't approve. Please help.

[DannyBoysGrace]

I will start by giving some background information, I'm nineteen, I suffer with depression, I'm somewhat suicidal and I self harm. I' have been clean for about two weeks now though.
My romantic interest is fifteen, underage by two years in our country. He's much more mature than I am and often feels like he is dating a child. He also suffers with severe depression, he is much more suicidal than I am and luckily, he doesn't self harm.
Don't we sound happy? xD

His guardians know about our relationship and I feel at home at their house. I have spent a few nights there sleeping in his arms.
I have known him for three months and we have been together for two months. I had been interested in him before I had met him when a mutual friend told me about him. I battled with my feelings for him because I felt like a creepy pedophile. He had managed to convince me that love is love.
I know love and I know infatuation, I know that I love him more than I have ever loved anybody (and I was with an ex for two years before).

He's the only person who can pull me out of my depressed state. He's the only person who can get through to me.
I am about to lose my horse who was my best friend of seven years and without my guy, I would more than likely kill myself once my horse is gone.
He speaks to my heart in ways that nobody else ever could and I speak to his. We have the most amazing relationship either of us have ever had, the only thing that bugs him about it is that he should be older, he should be his mental age, that way we would have no outside obstacles.

You might be wondering what I need help with by now.

He is getting constantly teased in school, people tell him that he's with a pedophile and things like that, I was wondering, how can I help him deal with this? He is getting bullied as it is so he doesn't this extra stress. I know that he can deal with it though.


Our most important issue is my family. I really need advice on how to deal with my parents.
My mom is trying to stop me from seeing him, she's refusing lifts, she keeps telling me that he's a child, that I need to grow up and act my age. She told me to break it off with him and to stop hanging around with him. If I don't, she';s going to send me out of the country to live with my dad to get me away from him and our group of friends.
There is more than this going on with mom though, I have been skipping classes to clear my mind and get rid of suicidal thoughts, she thinks my group is to blame for my depression, (refuses to believe it's been going on years and years) and thinks I'm just attention seeking. I am getting professional help now though

Anyway, I know there was a lot to read in this but thank you for reading this far. Does anybody have any tips on how we can deal with my mother?
Thank you for your time.

[basilandthyme]

Glad to hear that you're getting professional help. That being said, I completely agree with your mother. Not only about the age difference, but both of you are too unstable to be in a relationship.

I suggest you discuss this problem with your therapist.

[DannyBoysGrace]

I disagree, he is the only bit of stability and my only safe haven so to speak.

We're in a way, keeping one another alive. If I ended it now, I would lose him and most definitely have nobody who understands me.

As I said there is more going on at home than this and the only time I can escape from it all is when I'm in his arms.

The age gap is only physical, not mental. He's been through more things than most adults and had had to grow up way too quickly. He is my world and I am his.

Also, about the unstable point, I have already lost too much on account of my years of depression, I'm going to let it rule my life any longer so there's no way I'm letting go of him.


I appreciate what you have said though and thank you for answering.

And my first therapist told me to go for him. I have switched though to a suicide and self harm specific clinic and I don't think I can tell them because I signed a confidentiality agreement that says they have to alert the authorities to any potential child abuse and by law, it could be considered child abuse.

[michelle23]

I don't think your ready for any sort of relationship until you deal with the depression and get better. What have you done to seek help? Are you getting therapy? Suicide is not the answer. My friends son recently committed suicide and it has devastated their whole family. It doesn't just ruin your life, think of all the people left behind. There is tons of help out there so go grab it and start living the life you deserve. Worry about love and everything else when your stable enough to deal with it

[DannyBoysGrace]

The only way I can deal with my depression is with people who love and care for me.
My depression is a longterm issue. He is the only person who gives me hope and I would not be alive without him.

I am getting therapy. I'm not going to kill myself, at least not while I have some shred of hope and he is my hope. The only brightness I have in my life. The only reason I smile each day.

I'm getting therapy thanks to him. My old therapist told me she thinks I should be with him because he sounds like my only positive distraction. I haven't cut thanks to him. He is my strength.


So I would like to ask, how can I deal with my parents?

[yomamg]

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