My EX will not move on, and it's effecting my personal life

[BatouYukinawa]

We broke up 1.5 years ago, and stopped talking about 1 year ago, when she e-mailed me a letter threatening to
file a retraining order. Here's the thing. I was seeing someone when she sent it. I had seen her, literally standing a shoulders length apart from her stool, and said not one word to her, let alone even acknowledged her existence. I simply didn't understand why she would feel the need to send such a threatening letter, when she had to have witnessed my behavior a week prior, and knew I had no intentions in speaking to her. I replied back. I told her to "GO AWAY", and that I have met someone, telling her to seek professional help. It was a hurtful thing to say, but at the time, I was desperate, exhausted, and fed up with the games. I blocked her soon after, because I had said my peace, and there was nothing for her to add.

I spent the rest of the year working on myself up to this point. Ironically I have all the things she said I was missing. I have my own thing, and I am self reliant, and no longer codependent on my brother, which I was at the time. Unfortunately, through all this growth, she hates
me more then ever. She gives me evil glares, and recently requested that I don't come into a bar I frequent regularly, because it would screw with her Tarot reading. I am fed up again. Her hate for me is in her head, and not my fault. I realize that now, but she is still trying to turn
people I know against me, by means I am not entirely clear of. I'd like some advice on what to do. I want peace. I want for us to coexist. Some people say she still loves me, and she's heartbroken. But I'm not sure that's love. It seems to stem more from her own personal ego.

I also wonder if the year of blocking her completely out of my life has forced her to sit with uncertainties, and feelings she could not express. Or her dismissive, or spiteful demeanor is somehow a result of my last words to her. "Go Away". I've thought about talking to her, but she runs away from any establishments we happen to be both at. So do I try to unblock her on social media? Would that change anything? I know we have to coexist, because we have many mutual friends, but I just don't know what to do when she refuses to let go of what we were.

[Wakeup]

NO... do not unblock her and if she is starting rumours about you to your friends then have YOUR LAWYER threaten her with a cease and desist letter.

Your best defense is offense with someone like her who sounds positively Borderline Personality Disordered if what you say about her is anything close to the truth.

To even THINK about unblocking her and talking to her is your codependent slip showing.

[BatouYukinawa]

That's sad. It sounds like we're destined to be odds for the rest of our lives. I was hoping to find a solution
to this whole mess. I mean, I saw her talking to an old ex just recently, and thought to myself why we
couldn't be like that. Then someone told me it's because she was never in love with that ex, which I suppose
makes sense, but a part of me wonders if it was something I did wrong. I would have to admit, I played games
with her at times too, but more in retaliation to her games. I'm not excusing myself though, it's just I don't normally play games. I'm a pretty direct person.

[Wakeup]

That's sad. It sounds like we're destined to be odds for the rest of our lives. I was hoping to find a solution
to this whole mess. I mean, I saw her talking to an old ex just recently, and thought to myself why we
couldn't be like that. Then someone told me it's because she was never in love with that ex, which I suppose
makes sense, but a part of me wonders if it was something I did wrong. I would have to admit, I played games
with her at times too, but more in retaliation to her games. I'm not excusing myself though, it's just I don't normally play games. I'm a pretty direct person.

Hone your personal boundaries and have enough confidence to quickly get rid of those that "play games" instead of just staying and playing games in retaliation. That is how you move past your codependent tendencies.

Google "The Importance of Personal Boundaries" and how it relates to codependency when you don't have good boundaries in place. Stop listening to so called friends who tell you she only talks to an ex that she "was never in love with." She sounds like the type that doesn't even know what "love" is but exists in dysfunctional messes.

[BatouYukinawa]

Weird, almost everything you're saying, has been what she would say about me. She accused me of being a narcissist, needing
to grow a soul, and accused me of not knowing what love is. It's weird though. I always thought love meant acceptance
of that person. Faults and all. She seemed to be forever fixated on my faults. I always had things about myself that needed
work. She of course had it all figured out, cause she owned her own house, and had a career cutting hair. I mean, if she wanted
a dude who owned his own house, why the hell would she pursue a rock musician in the first place?

[Wakeup]

Weird, almost everything you're saying, has been what she would say about me. She accused me of being a narcissist, needing
to grow a soul, and accused me of not knowing what love is. It's weird though. I always thought love meant acceptance
of that person. Faults and all. She seemed to be forever fixated on my faults. I always had things about myself that needed
work. She of course had it all figured out, cause she owned her own house, and had a career cutting hair. I mean, if she wanted
a dude who owned his own house, why the hell would she pursue a rock musician in the first place?

You think too much about her and the failed relationship you were in with her which frankly, is making it look like she threatened a restraining order on you for good reason. Have you been stalking her through social media or in person?

Anyway: Time to get rid of her from your head and get on with your life. Like I said if it takes calling your lawyer for a cease and desist letter if she is causing you defamation amongst your friends then so be it.

[BatouYukinawa]

No, I blocked her over a year ago for a reason. I even blocked her email.
I figured a year later we could at least coexist. I don't think you understand.
She lives in a small town, one which I have many friends. Trying to avoid her
is impossible. If she was at least civil, I wouldn't even be on this forum. What
you say seems just drastic, and over dramatic. A lawyer? Really? No, I just
want her to let it go. You're not really giving me any advice to fix this. That's something
she would do anyway. I'm not trying to stoop to her level. I don't want to be petty about this.
We're both adults here. She's not harassing me, it's all just insecure rubbish I would like
to stop. It's so damn awkward for our friends.

[Wakeup]

No, I blocked her over a year ago for a reason. I even blocked her email.
I figured a year later we could at least coexist. I don't think you understand.
She lives in a small town, one which I have many friends. Trying to avoid her
is impossible. If she was at least civil, I wouldn't even be on this forum. What
you say seems just drastic, and over dramatic. A lawyer? Really? No, I just
want her to let it go. You're not really giving me any advice to fix this. That's something
she would do anyway. I'm not trying to stoop to her level. I don't want to be petty about this.
We're both adults here. She's not harassing me, it's all just insecure rubbish I would like
to stop. It's so damn awkward for our friends.

What you're not understanding is that she's not sane (anyone who would email you and tell you she was going to get a restraining order on you for ignoring her isn't right in the head) but you're trying to find a way to deal with her as if she was sane.

Good luck with that.

Perhaps someone who thinks like her can help you to convince her that she should be more sane then she currently is.