Was I stupid or she acted like a bitch?

[Rickd_02895]

I met this girl on tinder. I am 29 years old and she is 22. Despite the age gap we had an amazing chemistry since day 1 chatting. We used to text and exchange pics whole day. She used to talk everything about her and we used have great time talking to one another. She said she never expected to meet such a character on tinder.
After a month of talking we had amazing 2 dates. First date was normal when we talked to each other for 4 hours and I gave her a gift for her new home on Date 1. She was very much impressed and told all her friends were impressed too. Then a week later we had a great date through which she kept asking Did you had fun with me? there was some intimate kissing at the end but nothing sexual..
Her brother added me on Linkedin and we were totally getting into each other..
Then we planned our 3rd date on next week and she was curiously waiting for it..She was giving signs that she is looking forward to have sex..We planned to meet in pub near her house, so that may be she could invite me over after the date. By this time we were in 3 months of talking and we used to talk whole day and prank each other sometimes.

Few hours before the third date I kind of played a prank just to add fun which might have spoiled her mood. I called at her work extension pretending to be someone, just a short 1 min prank. She got a bit creeped out of me calling to her work extension which she never gave me and may be that's why she shifted the date to some other place not near to her house.

We met and the date was okay, nothing as great as the first 2 dates were. Kissing at the end was intimate but could not ask for sex at the end as kind of felt shy at the moment. Later she told she was very much expecting for me to ask for it that day!


We continued texting..I was literally falling over for this girl and I was dating her exclusively and she was very much serious too..
I asked her out next week, to which she told she has some plans for some event and told me on texts that she can't wait to have sex with me.

She did not text for a day, obviously she was at her event so could not, I logged in to that event's page and someone had posted a video over there in which she was there dating some other guy..
I was kind of hurt at that moment as I expected she would not lie to me at least after 3 months of talking of some good 3 dates.
I just told her I can't believe I saw you in a video posted over that page but said nothing to which she laughed and said nothing too.

Next day the talk was like this:-

Me : I am sorry, I dint talk yesterday as I was having a strange feeling
She: You need not worry about it although I am sure about the source
Me: I am glad that feeling ended, I don't feel any different for you
She: Honestly I wasn't looking to get into dating some guy from another country(I am from Germany) to be the reason for them to stay or make it rough when they leave.

In response to which i texted her a lot that day that I wasn't upset about you dating someone and she was fine, just told me to chill.
But later in the evening broke up again when I told her I seriously like her, saying your country was bothering me...

I was totally getting love kind of vibe from her and 2 days before she told she can't wait to have sex with me and then right after 2 days broke up..

Did I act like a total stupid or was she a bitch??

[smackie9]

It all was a misunderstanding. She was interested in sex with you, but nothing along the line of commitment. You both failed at communicating your intentions and expectations, and instead just "assumed". You are adults, you need to be up front with what you want. Just because a girl shows signs of being into you doesn't mean she wants to be into a committed relationship. These things need to be discussed.

Tip: Tender is better known as a hookup site, not a dating site. Secondly, if it's long distance, them living in another country, then it is even more crucial to discuss expectations. Not everyone is going to be interested in relocating or want to do an LDR.

So I'm going to lean more towards you just not knowing. A lot of people do make this mistake. Her? it's possible she was being a bitch, but on the other hand she is probably used to having open sexual relationships with guys from Tender, she didn't think anything of it. Maybe you were the only guy that had any interest in more than just sex.

Now that the cat is out of the bag, she's gonna back off because she knows she doesn't want to fulfill your expectations to be your GF, which is in best interest for the both of you.

- - - Updated - - -

Or you got played, found someone that caught her eye more. TBH if she was falling for you she wouldn't have been with someone else right?

[Rickd_02895]

It all was a misunderstanding. She was interested in sex with you, but nothing along the line of commitment. You both failed at communicating your intentions and expectations, and instead just "assumed". You are adults, you need to be up front with what you want. Just because a girl shows signs of being into you doesn't mean she wants to be into a committed relationship. These things need to be discussed.

Tip: Tender is better known as a hookup site, not a dating site. Secondly, if it's long distance, them living in another country, then it is even more crucial to discuss expectations. Not everyone is going to be interested in relocating or want to do an LDR.

So I'm going to lean more towards you just not knowing. A lot of people do make this mistake. Her? it's possible she was being a bitch, but on the other hand she is probably used to having open sexual relationships with guys from Tender, she didn't think anything of it. Maybe you were the only guy that had any interest in more than just sex.

Now that the cat is out of the bag, she's gonna back off because she knows she doesn't want to fulfill your expectations to be your GF, which is in best interest for the both of you.

- - - Updated - - -

Or you got played, found someone that caught her eye more. TBH if she was falling for you she wouldn't have been with someone else right?

Thanks Smackie9 for replying to the post.
I think you are right we just assumed instead of being upfront.
Tinder as you said is more likely a hookup site, which I did not know at that time and she told me If anyone asks, we did not meet through tinder but instead in real life..
She used to text me like
You are lucky to love close by
oops* live-feudic slip, which all led to that way

I even painted a picture of her telling my intentions which she liked a lot, starting writing a book on our dating..which she used to enjoy reading. I thought my intentions were pretty clear

And I told her that I am planning to stay right here in this country, I am not going back..while she was arguing

So we were in 3 months talking and 3 dates, I thought may be she went out to just get sex and come back to me, a day before she dated another guy.We were discussing and planned to have sex on our 4th date.

But fortunately and unfortunately I found out about her date, and the conversation was like this...

Me :I am sorry, I dint last night because of a strange feeling
She:You need not worry about it, although I know the source
Me:I am glad it ended, I met someone yesterday eve for a short while and realized that I best connect with you. No one is like you( I cooked up)
She : A lot of guys have told me that, guess they tell everyone
Me: I said coz it is true, I meant I am glad that strange feeling ended, don't feel any different for you
She: Honestly I wasn't looking to date guys from another country
Me : What is wrong with you? We are not into a relation. I don't mind you dating someone else.
She: Why were you upset then? -_-
Me: coz you dint respond for a day
She: Oh I will be more responsive now..
Me: Do you have any plans for haloween, I know some good places.
No response
Me: There were so many things we had planned earlier right on Halloween, I understand if you want to put that on hold..
no response

Told me I need to chill...
But later in the eve when I told her I like her seriously..then she broke off again...and later by slip of the tongue told she actually slept with him.

I think you are right, our expectations was really not aligned, and I could not continue but left broken hearted!

Then after few weeks on Halloween, she texted me with her pic. I thought maybe her date ditched her that's why she is contacting me. I dint reply and changed my number..I was broken and dint want to be played..

After that I kept thinking did she change her mind? but looking back as you said, she was only interested in Sex

[smackie9]

ok so now you know to stay off tender, make sure your intentions are clear and that they match up and to date locally.....then you will be able to cut through a good portion of crap lol. No matter what tho, it's still a crap shoot. Best of luck.