Cheating..PLEASE HELP

[Merenalove]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now. About 2years ago i cheated on him and he found out about it but forgave me(we weren't really dating at that time i wanted a break). These past 2 years now have actually been great. I wasn't completely honest with him about everything i did with this guy. My current boyfriend was my first but wasn't my only. This secret had been eating away at me because my boyfriend is such a great person i couldn't hide it from him anymore and yesterday i told him the truth in a way i felt like he already knew but wanted to hear it from me. He told me needed time but that he still loved me just that it was going to take time to fix things. Do you guys think we can work it out? i love him from the bottom of my heart he was my first for a lot of things as i was to him i just want to know if there is any way to ever salvage our relationship. Please help

[Wakeup]

Not if you keep up "wanting a break" when you think you like someone else and just want to get laid by them. You either decide that this is who you want to spend your monogamous life with or you leave the poor guy alone so he can get the hell over you.

You may SAY that you'll never do anything like that again on him but if you haven't formed good solid personal boundaries that indicate to YOU that flirting with other men and putting yourself in the position to become emotionally involved with someone else is totally against your sensibilities, then you will indeed do it again.

Work on your confidence and your self esteem and garner good feelings of self worth through goals and accomplishes met instead of through the attention of men other then who you've promised monogamy to.

You've lied to him twice now. I suspect he'll stay with you anyway because if he did when you cheated then he'll likely not go because you have lied. Lets hope he doesn't think he deserves his own affair to make things even.

[Zaxtor99]

Absolutely Merenalove...

It's been a long time since you actually cheated, and I think telling him the complete and honest truth was a huge step on your part. I've always believed that the ability to communicate with a partner is even more important that honesty. Obviously, both are very important, but if you can communicate now and be honest, you are on the right path for sure.

Nobody is perfect and well all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up too much as it sounds as if you still have a lot of guilt over this. Hopefully confessing to your boyfriend and revealing the truth made you feel a lot better, and I'm sure it lifted a huge weight off of you!

Focus now in showing your boyfriend every day what he means to you in every way that you can. Focus on staying honest and communicating well, all your thoughts and even fantasies etc, and you will have a great chance at surviving this.

Love conquers all, and you KNOW now who it is you love, correct?

Smiles. Hold your head high and get off this internet right now and go give him some loving. I don't mean sex necessarily. Go cuddle him, hug him, kiss him, ..something.

Hats off to you for being brace enough to tell him the truth... and for asking for advice and support here.

Now go have a great day/night!



- Zaxx

[butterfly712]

I think you being honest with him was the right thing to do,if you and your boyfriend still love each other and want to work things out between the both of you,I would say that it is worth it to save your relationship,and I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck.

[lissa]

I don't know, I feel like all you did was open up an old wound. You already told him you cheated on him, and now you are getting more specific about HOW you cheated on him? You're never going to feel 100% good about what you did, so stop bringing it up and making him feel bad because you need to get more details off your chest. He has no obligation to forgive you and just because it was 2 years ago doesn't make it any better.

[basilandthyme]

So you made him feel bad in an effort to clear your own conscience? Very selfish of you. He didn't ask for these details, so clearly he didn't need to know. This was all about you putting your own needs above his. Bad move.

You need to start to focus on the future and let bygones be bygones.

[Merenalove]

He asked me for the details I had already let it go. But he asked if anything had happen. And I just felt like I couldn't lie to his face anymore he deserved the truth. He should know who he was with. I understand that he does not need to forgive me but I just wanted to know if there was any possible way we could fix our relationship?

[woody]

You did the right thing. I applaud the balls it took to tell him the full truth; if only more would do this.
Look, at the end of the day, he'll be hurt but he'll love you more for owning up. At least he'll know now that your honest. It may hurt awhile that it took you so long to finally tell him but you did eventually.
Let him heal and time will tell. At least you fixed the foundation. good on you

[Makkaway]

I can't believe what I'm reading.

Are you serious guys when you actually support what she's done and give her "advice"?

Unbelievable.

This girls deserves slut shaming. That's all she deserves.


And by the way: your guy is a wimp for having forgiven you. Doesn't that bother you deep down? For that reason only you will cheat on him again; because he's got no pride. A real man never forgives having been cheated on. He's got too many options to spend the rest of his life with a girl that does not give him the least of respect.

I'm sick...

[jenniferaniston]

If you really love your first bf then make a decision that you will be with him and not cheat him again then only give a chance to your relationship otherwise it is no use...he is so good for you that he loves you really that why he didn't do anything otherwise no bf could digest the fact that his gf cheated on them.So make yourself improve with things and stay with him and build up your trust.

[woody]

I can't believe what I'm reading.

Are you serious guys when you actually support what she's done and give her "advice"?

Unbelievable.

This girls deserves slut shaming. That's all she deserves.


And by the way: your guy is a wimp for having forgiven you. Doesn't that bother you deep down? For that reason only you will cheat on him again; because he's got no pride. A real man never forgives having been cheated on. He's got too many options to spend the rest of his life with a girl that does not give him the least of respect.

I'm sick...

Hey there freshly wounded man, Chill those heels will ya?!!!... She did this before they got hot and heavy. I'm not supporting the act, I am supportive the balls it took to come clean so while I know you just got cheated on (I was one who replied to your threads) the whole term "slutshaming" is somewhat harsh don't you think? Indeed. SAd.

You got your heart stomped. FAir enough to be all up in arms over her thread but relax a little on the name calling eh? I really don't think the situations are even close to the same type of ballpark...