Will he leave his wife for me?

[Tko123]

Already, I'm expecting the comments of no and how dumb am I to be in this situation but here goes..

I met this guy when I was 16 and he was 22, he was my younger brother's basketball coach. We became really close friends and after a couple of years, he wanted to be more than friends.

We were both in love with each other but I was only 18 and was not ready to settle down. I wanted to go to college and find myself. So I ended things.

We went 3 years without really speaking.. He would always call and text me but I thought it was best to move on and live our lives. I saw him when I visited home because him and my brother are still friends, we still loved each other.

So time goes by and I see he's getting married and having a child. Well I was crushed but I knew our time had passed. So he messages me one night a couple months ago and says he still loves me and I'm the only woman he's ever wanted.

So we made plans to see each other and started a relationship. It was just like old times, like nothing had changed. We went on dates, spent time together. He told me he hasn't been able to get over me for the past 4 years.

Long story short, we've had a great couple of months together. He's in the navy and about to get deployed in a couple days and last night he was super drunk and told me he needs me to ignore him so that he can move on. That's it's not fair to him that I ignored him for years and now realized I want to be with him. We went back and forth for hours last night and never did he give me a reason why.. Just over and over saying that I need to ignore him and live my life without him and that he loves me more than anything and will regret ending things with me for the rest of his life..

So, any advice? Maybe as to why he suddenly wants to end things? Will anything ever happen? Do I cut my losses and move on?

[basilandthyme]

You say he never did give you the reason why he's telling you to forget him. I don't know how this has escaped you, but it's because he's married and he's realised that his behaviour is wrong and wants to commit to his marriage and be a good father.

The stuff about regretting ending it for the rest of his life? Meh, that's just momentary sadness. The memory of you will fade with time as he continues with life, wife and kids.

Time to move on.

[Wakeup]

I find it really interesting that you wouldn't be with him when he was single and you were old enough (18+) but as soon as he's with another woman, you're all over him like some boundary-less twit who is afraid of commitment so you pick someone you know can't commit to you.

Work on your ISM's and leave this man and any other man that is already taken alone and get on with your life. Work on your personal boundaries and your fear of commitment before you start dating.

He's a player and an asshole and you're in need of a good dose of self-esteem so that you realize he got a leg over and now he wants you out of his life. Look at it that way and maybe you'll learn to hate the asshole ~ a jerk who cheated on the mother of his child.

Do you really want a fvcktard like that as the man in your life?

(P.S.) He should have NEVER gotten involved with someone as young as you... That's another negative indication that is the essence that is him.

[jenniferaniston]

You should move on as don't ruin his life and your also and he is married so don't break their relationship as when you should be with him you were not there so now he have realize that he should not cheat her wife that why he is saying you to ignore him that's it..So for his sake ignored him now think about each other as a friend not more than that as it will be good for both of you.

[TablesandChairs]

He's a married man with a child on the way. Do you need any more reasons to ignore him? It's pretty obvious - he's telling you to ignore him because he has poor self control but ultimately knows that he doesn't want to stray from his wife/child any longer.

[woody]

Quite the pickle Lady.

You must do what is right. This man is married and is having a baby. T&C nailed it and I couldn't have said it better myself.
It's going to be tough on you to move on always wondering but you must remember, everything happens for a reason. You may have thought he was your Prince Charming but lady, he isn't. Hard to grapple with that but don't lose sight of a future man who isn't married.
You'll be alright. Protect your heart.

[NoNameGirl]

So you're the woman he wanted but then gets married to another woman and to make it worse gets a child?!?! To take a woman's man is already disgusting but taking a child's dad is one of the most disgusting things. and he must be an idiot too for getting a woman pregnant that doesn't really mean much to him. your character must be just as bad as his.i hope his wife will find a better man!