puzzled by the girl gone cold

[thebiglimp]

so i went on these half-arsed dates with a girl who was looking for an open relationship.

first time i got way too drunk for the casual hookup that was being offered. second date i felt really out of mood and acted a complete bore. as we parted i was sure it was over but then she offers to meet up the third time at a gathering with her friends. and she actually did invite me to it a week later. there i acted the part of a plutonic friend because i thought that's what i'd turn into.

but then at the end of that meet she invites me to her place for next time.

then she went cold. i tried chatting with her on facebook twice. sent a text twice asking to 'hang out' and was rejected the both times. but then she also matches me on tinder meanwhile, and also writes me that she hopes to see me before she leaves. (we're both expats)

now the pessimist in me says i'm only being strung along and need to forget about it. but the optimist says i need to be more enthusiastic?

and what's with the rejection then tinder matching, and writing me that she hopes to meet again?

i should've take my mind off it moved on a while ago but the cryptic aspect of her behavior puzzles me.

what do you think?

[lavinia808]

If she wants an open relationship and doesn't always respond, there's a good chance she's seeing someone else. Though it doesn't sound like this would stop her from hooking up with you. She might also be playing games because she felt rejected the times you didn't want to have sex. Either way you're playing with fire, but probably still have a chance of at least hooking up if you play the right moves (here I'd say that means being more assertive in person and making her feel more desirable, while not losing your cool)

[thebiglimp]

what bums me more is that i was genuinely looking for a friendship, and she knew about this, yet still doesn't stick around as one. i guess i could be seen as a baggage if i'm only to be a platonic friend..