Does age matter if you have a connection?

[seechell]

Hi, I've recently met a guy and we had an instant connection. We have intense feelings for each other and have a deeper connection than just physical, however, he is 31 and I'm 44 (just). Does this matter if we love spending time with one another? we are both single.

[basilandthyme]

Does he want kids? He's the right age and you're probably no longer fertile. (I'm older than you, so not being ageist).

If he wants kids, then age is a problem. If he doesn't want kids, then it's not such a terrible gap.

[eve.ashley]

Hi, I've recently met a guy and we had an instant connection. We have intense feelings for each other and have a deeper connection than just physical, however, he is 31 and I'm 44 (just). Does this matter if we love spending time with one another? we are both single.

from someone who is 36 and my bf is 23, age doesn't matter at all.

that connection and intensity are all that matters. don't lose that because patriarchal oppression teaches women we cannot date and marry younger men, or much younger men.

if you think about it 13 years is a big age difference whether the man is older or the woman, and, let me tell you, it doesn't matter at all.

my partner was 20 when we met, he was really just out of his teens, still didn't matter.

he was the most amazing guy i had ever met, so much so that i thought he was faking it.

(i thought no way anyone is that awesome at 20, lol=)

time showed that yes, really, he simply was that awesome, and more.

so, i say go for it, and don't worry about age.

you guys will always take your age into account same way you take into account other stuff about each other...the little things...

but it will not be some huge issue or obstacle, not unless one or both of you is hangup on what 'society' thinks about it...

(i assume you guys are not hung up on society or you would not be falling for each other)

enjoy your life and your amazing relationship.

BTW, people will try to give you flak, in subtle or aggressive ways.

from pretending that they are not jealous but saying stuff that implies you guys are just having sex, and it couldn't possibly last, to aggressive attacks...openly asking you, how dare you date a man so much younger.

i am really not sure who is more envious of my freedom to date younger, better looking men, other men or other women.

this of course says everything about those people, and nothing about you guys and your relationship.

[lovebroken]

I think once over the age 25 years old the gap lessens in differences so a 25 and 35 year old can get on well, and at the ages you said I would think similar. If it doesn't bother either of you, ignore those around you that appear concerned by it and enjoy each other.

[seechell]

Does he want kids? He's the right age and you're probably no longer fertile. (I'm older than you, so not being ageist).

If he wants kids, then age is a problem. If he doesn't want kids, then it's not such a terrible gap.

Hi, thanks for your message. Yeah he does want kids and I'm still fertile but obviously the clock is ticking for me. I understand this is an important factor to consider and I have thought about it, but it's too early to have an in depth discussion about it. Maybe we'll see how things go for a bit and then bring it up. I wish women had a longer fertility time.

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Hi and thank you for that lovely message. It's lovely to hear it's working out for you guys and I really hope it works for us but obviously I need to look at the fertility issue that someone has brought up, I understand that this is a major factor. However, I'm so pleased for you. We aren't bothered about the age thing as we go out and stuff and don't care what people think. He thinks the world of me and vice versa. We had an instant connection on another level as I'm sure you understand. Thank you and good luck hun.

[eve.ashley]

Hi, thanks for your message. Yeah he does want kids and I'm still fertile but obviously the clock is ticking for me. I understand this is an important factor to consider and I have thought about it, but it's too early to have an in depth discussion about it. Maybe we'll see how things go for a bit and then bring it up. I wish women had a longer fertility time.

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Hi and thank you for that lovely message. It's lovely to hear it's working out for you guys and I really hope it works for us but obviously I need to look at the fertility issue that someone has brought up, I understand that this is a major factor. However, I'm so pleased for you. We aren't bothered about the age thing as we go out and stuff and don't care what people think. He thinks the world of me and vice versa. We had an instant connection on another level as I'm sure you understand. Thank you and good luck hun.

well there is loads of kids who were left by their paretns, and need a mommy and daddy.

as nothing is conventional in my little family. my bf has a child and i don't ...

but there's this little tiny person that has my bf's eyes and that is all that matters.

if you guys will be good for each other, these things will work out...so like any other relationship, try and see, and don't forget to enjoy the process...

[TheEvilJester]

Age alone does not matter. Well.... within reason, that is. If you were 44 and he was 18 (or vice versa) I'd sort of lean towards thinking ....yeah.... that's weird. LOL! I don't think 44 and 36 are that big of a deal. Heck, you aren't even in all that different of life stages at that point.

As others have pointed out, where it may matter is when it comes to children. At 44, you are nearing an age where you will no longer be able to have children. (I don't mean to be insensitive, it's just biology.) If that is a problem for him, then maybe the age difference does matter. There's always adoption, though, if you two are somehow too late. If you are both fine with that, then why should the number matter?

So, there really are a lot of factors to consider. But, I don't think an age difference matters simply in and of itself. Again, within reason.

[dontaskme]

Age alone does not matter. Well.... within reason, that is.LOL! I don't think 44 and 36 are that big of a deal. Heck, you aren't even in all that different of life stages at that point.

44 and 31 .......

[TheEvilJester]

Oh, well then that is just crazy. LOL! No, I'm kidding. 44 and 31 still doesn't seem like a huge deal to me. At least not JUST based on the age difference.

P.S. ...Not sure where the heck I got 36. LOL!