Question

[Caiis101]

Thanks for any responses - Just looking for a male perspective ...

I have been single for two years. The last relationship I was in was a 6 year long relationship.

At the very end of Feb, I met someone new. We hung out through March and some of April. I would say once every other week. Most of this was me asking him to hang out. Towards the middle of April we were talking everyday, mostly through text. Towards the end of April I did notice that we were hanging out less. I asked him about this and he told me that he was just giving me space to finish up school. (At this point I was a month away from finishing up my masters degree and was preparing for finals) Last week I finished up school and we hung the day after. He asked me to hang out. I have been waiting forever to finish up so that we could talk more and hang out more. We had fun last Friday but I noticed right away back to very vague texts again. I sent him a very simple text saying hey let me know when you have a free night this week and ill cook us some dinner. He did not respond at all. So after a couple of days of not hearing from him, I just flat out asked him how he felt about me because I felt like I was getting a friendship vibe from him. I told him if that was the case, that's fine but that I just wanted to know. He told me that wasn't the case at all, and that he truly was giving me space before for school and that this week he just had some family emergencies that he had to deal with which is why he couldn't talk to me much. But he said that his feelings for me have not changed at all.

Deep down in the pit of my stomach I just have a feeling that he doesn't have the time for me. He's very busy. He's a school psychologist and works six days a week and he also coaches a junior high football team during the week and on Sundays.

I really like him and hope that I am wrong but the question is how much longer should I give it if things don't change. I was thinking another month or two tops. A lot of my friends ask me why i'm still talking to him. They think because I was the one to mostly initial the hanging out when we first started talking that he really doesn't have an interest in me. I do remember in my previous relationship in the beginning I had to do zero thinking, my ex pursued me all the way. So this type of situation is new to me.

[basilandthyme]

I don't know if he's too busy, too flaky or just not that into you. But it shouldn't be this hard to get time together with someone you're interested in.

Stop calling him. The amount he does or doesn't chase you will indicate whether or not he's good for a relationship with you. Lastly, if he doesn't call, don't do a 'breakup' conversation. It's really embarrassing to end it with someone who's not with you to start with. If he doesn't call, just move on without a word - and dignity fully intact.

Next time you meet someone new, don't do more than 50% of the chasing. The amount of initiative they take is indicative of how the feel. If they're not proactive, don't bother with them.