+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Feel so guilty entering new relationship...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    9

    Feel so guilty entering new relationship...

    Long story short, a girl and I started talking online before we ever met in person. Talked on the phone/face timed/texted everyday until we finally met. We hit it off amazingly and we both are feeling strongly about each other. She has been nothing but honest and open to me, and this is where I'm feeling guilty. She said she was dating a guy briefly who she thought was a nice guy, but she found out that he was showing his friends her pics and saying he couldn't wait to sleep with her etc etc. Thing is, I did the same thing when her and I first started talking. Now, I am young (23) and I knew from the get go that sex was not all I wanted from her and I genuinely liked her, but hey I am still a guy and we had been flirty on the phone before. I just feel so bad because I feel like if she knew about that, she wouldn't like me anymore. I almost feel so guilty that I feel compelled to tell her. It's eating me and I don't know why? I've learned my lesson, and I'm never going to say things like that to try and impress my friends/feel like more of an "alpha", but part of me feels like I should tell her to rid myself of this guilt. It's totally irrational because I know that that's not "me", yet I can't get over feeling like she should know. Any advice? Should I just let this go and learn from it, or should I somehow tell her? I don't even know how I would approach that...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    Don't feel guilty, your behavior is totally normal. Young girls are just plain dumb about understanding guys. The guys that worship girls, that are deeply in love with them and would do anything to be with them, are guys that get friend zoned. Girls may say they want a nice decent soft guy, but it's not what they are attracted to. Girls need to understand, sexual attraction comes first. Of course a guy wants to ''Hit that''. That is what attraction is all about.The emotional stuff comes after. You can't have emotional connection until you get to know one another, spend time together, and possibly have sex to get that connection. Guys who say they are in love at first site, are usually those beta males that observe the girl from afar, be friends with her, and then get stuck in the friends zone.

    So that being said, don't change a thing. You have sexual desire for her, and are excited about it, there is nothing bad about that. You don't need to confess anything to her, you did nothing wrong. Down the road as she matures, she will eventually understand what guys are all about.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    9
    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Don't feel guilty, your behavior is totally normal. Young girls are just plain dumb about understanding guys. The guys that worship girls, that are deeply in love with them and would do anything to be with them, are guys that get friend zoned. Girls may say they want a nice decent soft guy, but it's not what they are attracted to. Girls need to understand, sexual attraction comes first. Of course a guy wants to ''Hit that''. That is what attraction is all about.The emotional stuff comes after. You can't have emotional connection until you get to know one another, spend time together, and possibly have sex to get that connection. Guys who say they are in love at first site, are usually those beta males that observe the girl from afar, be friends with her, and then get stuck in the friends zone.

    So that being said, don't change a thing. You have sexual desire for her, and are excited about it, there is nothing bad about that. You don't need to confess anything to her, you did nothing wrong. Down the road as she matures, she will eventually understand what guys are all about.
    Thank you for the advice--I appreciate it. The thing is, she is actually older than me--she's going to be 30 in August. She's been cheated on in the past, so I think that may have something to do with it. I just feel bad knowing I did something she wouldn't like. I wouldn't want her knowing that--almost feels like she's not being exposed to the full picture. I know--it sounds crazy--I've just never had such an immediete mutual attraction like this so its new to me

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    15,542
    Let it go bro, it was her thinking out loud. Don't ever feed into her insecurities by apologizing, or confessing. It will become a vicious cycle of you constantly reassuring her. She needs to get over it, and it's not your job to help her do this.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    9
    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    Let it go bro, it was her thinking out loud. Don't ever feed into her insecurities by apologizing, or confessing. It will become a vicious cycle of you constantly reassuring her. She needs to get over it, and it's not your job to help her do this.
    Thanks, I needed that, lol. Just curious though, what was her "thinking out loud?"

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    170
    Yeah I would definitely NOT tell her! She wouldn't be able to trust you again and the relationship would be ruined. She's naive if she thinks guys don't show their friends sexy pictures girls send them. I'm a girl and I show my friends pics that guys send me too haha everyone does it.

Similar Threads

  1. It needs to end but I feel so guilty about it.
    By bigumbang in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-04-15, 07:45 AM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 13-02-14, 04:05 AM
  3. Should I feel guilty?
    By doodie182 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 23-05-12, 09:54 AM
  4. What to do with EX so I don't feel guilty.
    By R3AL_LUV in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-02-11, 09:03 PM
  5. Months later and i still feel guilty from a controlling relationship
    By dazedxconfusedx in forum Broken Hearts Forum
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-08-10, 05:56 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •