He Keeps Telling Me He's "Scared"

[SadLove1980]

After being together for a year and a half, the passion and drive between my and my bf had declined. In the past month, we've had a couple run-ins and to top it off, last week he said we need "occasional" time to spend with our friends so we can miss each other - which I agree with, but he laid this on me while our bond is already getting stale. The first thing that came between us was when he insisted on being friends with his friend's ex-gf - a woman who flirted with him years ago and this didn't set right with me. He said I was trying to control who his friends are and who he should cut out of his life.

He's been acting strange and saying I"m suffocating him and trying to control everything he does - but I honestly just love spending time with him..

He said he's getting scared that if he wants to change our routine that I'm going to blow up at him and get suspicious. We usually see each other every day and we basically live together - but we do do things like exercise and we have our own projects. I haven't seen him in 3 days and he keeps putting off talking face to face, repeating that he's scared of being with me. What does that mean? He should know me so thoroughly by now but it's like he's become someone else...

[basilandthyme]

SadLove, he's flagged a problem and has a solution as to how to get past it. If you value the relationship, you'd be crazy to ignore his needs. And to be honest, your wants do come across as being a bit controlling and suffocating.

[OliBradley]

When I was in high school/college, my partner wanted to spend every day of the summer holidays together. That's 7 days a week for 8 weeks. In a row. Whether I'd just finished work or not, I had to go around to hers. It's left me with plenty of problems now. Go a couple days without even talking maybe, but if you've got that 'This is the end' feeling, you may be halfway there.

[Wakeup]

He has a point that you spend too much time together, sadlove but him wanting to take time with him away from you only to spend it with another woman is a huge red flag. I'd say you have reason to worry about the solidity of your union.

Time. For you to be strong and get yourself to his for a discussion about rules implemented and moving forward or calling it quits and learning from this.

[basilandthyme]

He has a point that you spend too much time together, sadlove but him wanting to take time with him away from you only to spend it with another woman is a huge red flag. I'd say you have reason to worry about the solidity of your union.

Time. For you to be strong and get yourself to his for a discussion about rules implemented and moving forward or calling it quits and learning from this.

I didn't get that he was wanting to spend time with the other woman. If this is right, it puts a whole new spin on things.

[Wakeup]

Perhaps I jumped the gun but its the first impression I got when Op said their trouble started when she came into the picture.
Guess we'll never know until Op returns to her thread. *shrugs*