+ Follow This Topic
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 16 to 28 of 28

Thread: Good partner shitty lover.

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    South Africa
    Posts
    25
    Been reading other peoples' post and lot of sense in them however we can talk and show how much we know about relationships at the end of the day the person with the problem knows it better than anyone one of us. With that being said I think out of all that have been said Kilo cake must be able to make up his mind using all the diverse information from useful co-members of the forum.

    One thing I would like to say is that It is easy to walk away but hard to make something work, I do not consider asking your partner to join you in outdoors activities needy or pointless, It is better to try all you can if ones heart still desires to make means of bringing healthy change in a relationship. At the same time if the partner does not show any interest in anything suggested I would easily believe she does not care. Relationships is about many things one of them is to compromise at times.
    Get your lost lover back instantly.

  2. #17
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Quote Originally Posted by Khocie View Post
    Been reading other peoples' post and lot of sense in them however we can talk and show how much we know about relationships at the end of the day the person with the problem knows it better than anyone one of us.
    That goes without saying.

    With that being said I think out of all that have been said Kilo cake must be able to make up his mind using all the diverse information from useful co-members of the forum.
    That is the only solution what other one is there?

    One thing I would like to say is that It is easy to walk away
    NO it is not.
    but hard to make something work,
    You've got it completely backwards. It is important to consistently work TOGETHER as a team to keep things happy and humming along nicely and to keep things happy but it is dysfunctional work to try with someone who does not want to try too.

    I do not consider asking your partner to join you in outdoors activities needy or pointless, It is better to try all you can if ones heart still desires to make means of bringing healthy change in a relationship.
    I don't think it is pointless either but don't you think since he wants an active partner that he would have ALREADY ASKED HER TO join him? I'm sure he has done that already as a first attempt at trying to make things more happy for himself. If he hasn't, well then he's a idiot.

    At the same time if the partner does not show any interest in anything suggested I would easily believe she does not care. Relationships is about many things one of them is to compromise at times.
    Totally agree.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    799
    Quote Originally Posted by Khocie View Post

    One thing I would like to say is that It is easy to walk away but hard to make something work...
    I totally disagree!

    It is easier to settle in a bad or non workable relationship than to walk away. Why? Because people are often afraid of change and don't want to venture into something unfamiliar. They get too comfortable even in a shitty relationship.

  4. #19
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    You are right [MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION]. These are two different things. But I just think we shouldn't all give the same advice. Some will tell to breakup but some should say to stay together. Just for variety of advice. I dont see this relationship enough bad to breakup. Its really not that much of disaster. OP respects and values highly his GF. In his place I would keep it going. In fact I have something similar going on over internet.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  5. #20
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Quote Originally Posted by dontaskme View Post
    I totally disagree!

    It is easier to settle in a bad or non workable relationship than to walk away. Why? Because people are often afraid of change and don't want to venture into something unfamiliar. They get too comfortable even in a shitty relationship.
    This^^^

    Codependent people have a very, very hard time "walking away." They have low self-esteem and do not have the courage to walk away when they are clearly in a relationship that will make them miserable on a day to day basis. They do like to complain to someone on a day to day basis (as we've all read about) but they sit there in their misery and keep trying and trying to get someone to get their particular "asshole" to be who they want them to be.

    Pfffft.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    You are right [MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION]. But I just think we shouldn't all give the same advice. Some will tell to breakup but some should say to stay together. Just for variety of advice. I dont see this relationship enough bad to breakup. Its really not that much of disaster.
    pcmaster I must ask you: Would you settle in a relationship where your partner did not like sex. Where the only time she did give you sex she made you feel cheap about it because you knew she was only doing to appease you and wasn't enjoying it? Someone who had NONE of your interests ether?

    OP respects and values highly his GF. In his place I would keep it going.
    Yea... he values his mother too and she wouldn't want to fvck him either (I'd hope)

    In fact I have something similar going on over internet.
    Check yourself, dude. You're walking a slippery slope of desperation.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 16-06-15 at 12:36 PM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  6. #21
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Latvia
    Posts
    5,054
    Well to each their own. I'm for example feel much better in my non perfect relationship than being alone. There is no such thing as "perfect" you just have to find something that you are okay with.
    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

  7. #22
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Quote Originally Posted by pcmaster View Post
    Well to each their own. I'm for example feel much better in my non perfect relationship than being alone.
    That reeks of desperation.

    There is no such thing as "perfect" you just have to find something that you are okay with.
    No relationship is "perfect" you're right there. Sadly you're forgetting that You also have to find something you are compatible with or it is never going to keep being being "okay" with it. Once the honeymoon stage is over you'll start to be NOT okay with it... as the Op clearly is now.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  8. #23
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    26
    I appreciate all of your posts and thoughts. I guess thingss that I stated that I value are like, what I feel like I should value. If I stayed with her, we'd eventually have a family and junk and it would be a good union. Like the sort that aristocracy would arrange in past ages. That sounds crazy but it's something. It's stable. She's such a high quality person and I've invested so much time into it that it's really hard to imagine breaking up. Are you really sure I should? I feel like I want to ina lot of ways but it also sounds really scary. I've left girls before. I don't know, I feel ike she loves me but it isn't enough. I hate this.
    Last edited by Kilocake; 16-06-15 at 10:29 PM.

  9. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1,151
    Least not forget her earning potential

  10. #25
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    14,110
    Quote Originally Posted by Kilocake View Post
    I appreciate all of your posts and thoughts. I guess thingss that I stated that I value are like, what I feel like I should value. If I stayed with her, we'd eventually have a family and junk and it would be a good union. Like the sort that aristocracy would arrange in past ages. That sounds crazy but it's something. It's stable. She's such a high quality person and I've invested so much time into it that it's really hard to imagine breaking up. Are you really sure I should? I feel like I want to ina lot of ways but it also sounds really scary. I've left girls before. I don't know, I feel ike she loves me but it isn't enough. I hate this.
    You'd do well with some therapy to help you figure yourself out. You're very insecure in the fact that you're afraid to leave even when you're not happy with a very fundamental and important part of a relationship for YOU. It's people like yourself that stay in unsatisfactory relationships and often go on to either emotionally or physically cheat on their partner (even when they've said they are not like that and would never do anything like that. That soon changes when they incidently meet someone who makes them feel good and they spend too much disrespectful and inappropriate time with that person.


    Why don't you ask her to go to her doctor to find out if her hormones are low or something or to a psychologist of her own so that she can MAYBE get some kind of joy out of sex and the motivation to get off her ass and do SOMETHING with you... which would help you to stay with her out of want and not desperation and neediness.

    Seems you're having a hard time leaving the security and comfort of a mother-like love.
    Last edited by Wakeup; 17-06-15 at 11:49 AM.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  11. #26
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    126
    Seems like you don't really want a love life that satisfies you ,with everyone here working their minds off trying to help you ,leave aside the gigantic prattle this post has turned to with everyone's opinions just to help "you".
    If you want to keep living in that sorry mess ,then please do and don't waste up people's time and effort.
    In case you do actually value yourself and want to live a fulfilled love life like every ****ing regular human being ,take a look at the above posts😉

  12. #27
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    State College, Pennsylvania
    Posts
    43
    Wakeup said it best. It's one thing to "lack skills" in the bedroom but to not care when (I sure hope) you have had a conversation with her about your needs.
    Hunter S. Thompson once said "Buy the ticket, Take the ride."

  13. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    90
    +918696446917 Love Vashikaran/Mohini expert Babaji +918696446917 Black
    Magic expert Babaji +918696446917 Love Marriage expert +918696446917
    Get your lost love back +918696446917 Get your ex back +918696446917
    Intercaste marriage expert +918696446917 Husband Vashikaran Mantra
    +918696446917 Divorce problem solution +918696446917
    Husband-Wife dispute +918696446917 Love Breakup Solution
    +918696446917 Get Love in your life +918696446917 Get rid of Co-wife
    (Sautan) +918696446917 For any other Love problem or sabhi samsyaon
    ka turant samadhan ruhani & sifli ilam guarantee +918696446917

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Similar Threads

  1. Is your partner from another country? Good or bad?
    By Boisdevie in forum Off Topic Discussion
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 17-10-10, 06:20 AM
  2. Need a good lover as lif partner
    By raka in forum Introduce Yourself
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 15-09-10, 06:33 AM
  3. Harder leave a good lover?
    By Graham Berkeley in forum Ask a Female Forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-09-09, 02:30 AM
  4. Good friend into lover?
    By lost soul in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 29-06-03, 11:51 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •