Feeling Broken

[Sarcasticshoe]

So I'm not entirely sure this post is going to end in a question Per se but I feel this desire to reach out because I'm feeling alone and at this point it isn't deally appopriate to talk to my friends and family about it.

I'm dealing with a lot of insecurity in my current relationship.

The short story of how my relationship started is that I was interested in this guy (for the sake of the story we will name him mike) we are now in our mid 20's but when we were in our early teens I wanted to date Mike but he wasn't interested in me (he was totally hung up on this girl who was leading him on) so I let it go. Less than a year ago we got back in touch, hung out a few times and then started dating pretty seriously shortly thereafter. A few months into the relationship we started having more serious conversations and got on the topic of girls in his past. Bad subject for someone like me who is so sensitive :-( but I tried to play it off at first like it didn't bother me, because of course I was curious and in a bad way wanted to know. Long story short after discussing a slew of girls - I got the picture that he has a type and it just isn't what I look like !!!!!! :-( he's into short tan blue eyes brown haired girls. (He's shorter than I am) I am tall, pale, green eyed and strawberry blonde hair. He also showed me a profile picture of this "hot little Asian"
This just makes me want to throw in the towel. I know that's stupid but it's just really hard because I don't feel like I am what he wants... I've also been cheated on in the past - it makes me worry he is going to cheat on me with a girl that is more his type. I try to let it go but sometimes it's hard with my self esteem issues. Help me

[TheEvilJester]

How did the topic of girls from his past come up? Did you bring it up or did he? I know it can be tempting to ask, but that is really something you don't want to know. At least not until you feel secure enough in the relationship to know that they are his past for a reason, and you are his present for a reason.

Still, I have to say that it sort of makes my dark passenger growl if the way you are describing how he handled the situation is true. He actually showed you a picture of a girl he finds attractive and used the words "hot little Asian" to describe her? If I were you, I'd have been tempted to slap him right then and there. .....SIDE NOTE: I do NOT condone violence of any kind.... no matter how fun it may be. :-P

Bottom line, though, he is with you now. He's not with any of those tall, dark haired women you seem to think are his "type." So, if he doesn't give you any reason to think he isn't interested in you, then don't get yourself all worked up over nothing. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. I've never had much of a self-esteem either. In fact, until recently, I think it would be accurate to say I had NO self-esteem. Or darn near, at least.

I understand how it feels to be paranoid and doubt whether anybody could find you attractive, or to have a relationship and just constantly worry it is going to suddenly end. The thing is, unless he is giving you true cause for concern, you are worrying yourself over nothing. Don't drive yourself crazy over problems that may really only be in your head. Take it from a guy who knows.... that is a horrible way to live.

On the other hand, don't go too much to the other extreme either. If he IS giving you legit reasons for concern, then perhaps it is YOU who should be wondering whether he is worthy of you, not you worrying you are not worthy of him.

Good luck to you, friend. I know the struggle of insecurity. It is never easy, but it CAN get better if you work to make it so. You need to realize you are awesome and a guy would be lucky to be with you. If he can't see that, then somebody else will.

[lovemohini]

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