Don't know if I should stay or try to find someone new,help!

[tattooedangel]

Hi,I'm a 38 soon to be 39 in August,female that has been in a relationship with my guy for 5 years,I love him more than anything but the thing is that he doesn't like to be intimate at all,and I mean he doesn't like to hold hands,touch me,hug or kiss,over the years I have discussed this with him and every time I did he would try for a few days then stop,I guess he figured it would be enough to shut me up for a while,most people like the affection that comes along with a relationship and when you are lucky enough to find someone to fall in love with you want that more than anything,I've been hoping and praying he would change especially since he says he loves me so much but it hasn't happened, I don't want to end this relationship but I deserve to be with someone who shows me he loves me by being affectionate, help I need advice please

[basilandthyme]

You've discussed it and have achieved nothing. Time to move on and find someone who meets your needs.

[TheEvilJester]

It's hard to judge because maybe, for some reason, he really just does not like that stuff. It seems strange to me because I would want nothing more than to have those things with a loving partner. It does seem a bit radical that he doesn't even like to hold hands or kiss you, but who am I to judge? If he forced himself to do those things, it would sort of just be a lie. So, IF it really is just who he is, then it is unlikely that will change.

All that said.... you are NOT wrong for not being okay with that. You are definitely right to want some affection from your partner. Even if he is otherwise a great guy, and otherwise things between you are great, that doesn't change the fact that this is a very important aspect of any relationship. So, if it is make or break for you, that would not make you wrong at all. You would be much better off to end things now. Hopefully you can find the guy for you elsewhere, but you are much better off alone then you are stuck in a relationship that does not give you want you want/need. You may even think you can deal for now, but in the long run it will not be enough.

Good luck. I hope you find the partner you want, whether that winds up being him or not.