I am male, and am tormented. All of my life I have been looking for my soulmate, and I think I may have found her, but she has gone now, and before it even lifted off... I fear I am going to be alone forever.
I am a loner by choice, because everyone I have ever known has been shallow, using me to relieve boredom - I don't want that. I feel like I am the only person on the planet whos sees this way. I want a wise and intelligent woman that is quiet, private, strong, mature, and awake... but most importantly, she knows what she wants out of life, and is not wishy washy. I want someone that doesn't allow herself to be the result of how life moulds her, actively looking for happiness. She is probably a loner who spends a lot of time daydreaming she could find true love... like I do.
If I had one wish, and only one... then I would wish to live in a dream with my soulmate. I want to wake up each day next to her and kiss her good morning, and make her smile by whispering into her ear. I want to see her without her mask, no lies... no hiding - we are just human, and we shouldn't be ashamed of who we are, the good and the bad, for nobody is perfect. I want to be a devilishly witty torment and tease her silly... teaching her how to love and be loved. I want to run in the fields with her, feeling the air breeze past our faces, chasing each other until we just can't run anymore, and so we lie down and hold each other close... without a damn care in the world. I want to hold her in the silence of the early hours of the morning, the sound of the world asleep, soothing us in our paradise... the words that are not said. I want to forget this nightmare that is life and just live in this dream with her... walking anywhere and everywhere, together... just knowing, knowing that we understand eachother on the deepest levels, and want each other - feeling complete, no more urges for something else. To keep someone from feeling worthless, or like they don't exist.
Above everything, I want to give my life meaning.
How does one find a woman like this? and am I being too unrealistic? I KNOW that I am like this, so I see no reason there be no woman that is similar. I just wish I knew what I was supposed to do... I hate feeling like this.