Hello, my name is Angela. This is going to be a long story, but I hope you can read all of it carefully and help me. For the past month I have been having a crush on this specific guy, in fact he made me experience new things. Unfortunately, distance is a problem, but skype/phone calls, etc. is helping with all of those. We spent nights talking on Skype and watching movies, opening up to each other, and so on.
Problem is, he is still not completely over his ex girlfriend and he doesn't want to get in a new relationship. Well, that's okay with me, I can wait. But I really cannot understand what I am doing wrong, sometimes he barely replies to me, he may upload something and tag other girls etc, but it's never me (yes I know this sounds silly ) The other day he promised to watch a movie and he came back pretty late. By the way, I did confess to him but as expected I didn't get any special reply. But the worst part is, he says he's attracted towards me, he can get all sexual with me (it's not really sexting, but let's just call it that) but not get with me. What is this?! The other day he asked me to get over him, and I told him I cannot when he's suddenly all sweet etc etc. And he said something of the type ''you get over me but I'll continue doing what I do'', why is he taking me so lightly??! I really feel used, but it's the only way that is making me feel somehow important to him, and I cannot say no. If I say no, I am afraid he's going to lose complete interest in me. Not to mention that, his ex was my friend for some time, like we weren't close but we had fun together. They didn't break up because they wanted to, but they had to. So because I knew that she is his happiness I just shipped them so bad, I still do if it guarantees his happiness (and this is SO not like me cause I am the jealous type and I just don't send my crushes back to their exes). Anyway, she somehow got over protected and we were about to have this argument, I am still waiting for a reply and this happened like a week ago, I don't want to lose a friend too.
And when I am like, upset he barely even bothers, he ALWAYS takes me so lightly. I also sent him a letter and I am starting to regret it. I poured my heart out for him, I don't want to be a sex toy or whatever, I think he is taking advantage of the way I feel for him, but when I told him he was like ''aren't you enjoying it? Therefore it's not using you''. Of COURSE I'll enjoy it, you're my ****ing crush, but it also hurts afterwards cause I know you'll never be with me and I am just wasting my time, giving myself to you for no reason. It's all so frustrating and I don't know what to do anymore.