I apologize if this is long or if this is the wrong place to post this, but I don't have anybody to talk to.
Recently I started conversing with this guy who was giving me attention on Instagram. I knew of him from Facebook and although we had never talked before, I could tell he had a lot of friends and was the outgoing type, which is the polar opposite of my personality. We seemed to have a lot in common, shared similar interests in movies, and texted each other cute messages nonstop for about a week. He even said he’d been wanting to talk to me for a long time. I felt really happy because I was always somewhat interested in him too. Since I hadn’t hung out with anyone, especially a guy, since my six year relationship ended, I was hesitant because I’m extremely shy and feared I wouldn’t look as desirable in person as I do in my Instagram photos. But I met up with him anyway. Just as I expected, I was extremely shy and quiet and felt almost frozen. He did the majority of the talking, and I knew I was boring him to death. We ended up getting a little physical towards the end of the night because we had planned to, but I could tell he wasn’t as interested anymore. Since then he barely texts me and when he does it feels very dispassionate. I know he just doesn’t want to be rude or tell me he isn’t interested in me because I didn't live up to his expectations. It may not seem like a big deal, but I'm absolutely miserable and upset with myself because I feel I let him slip through my fingers. I know it would’ve gone better if it wasn’t for my anxiety. He was nice, funny, charming, comfortable, but I just couldn't talk to him in the way I wanted to. I know it wasn't his fault because I've always been this way with people. I told him I was sorry I was so quiet and that I was just nervous, and all he said was "it's okay, it was fine."
I know that it's not fine though. In my mind I'm considering just telling him we can have a strictly physical relationship since we're both just out of relationships and I don't want to stop talking to him. That way he doesn't need to have any feelings for me or like me even.
I guess what I'm injuring here is what do I do and what the hell is my problem? I'm 20 years old by the way and have only been in one relationship. I'm not use to attention from people, especially guys, so when we were texting I felt so wanted and desired, a feeling I hadn't felt in such a long time. Now the attention is gone, and I'm lonely and aching and depressed. I feel pathetic just writing this. I think the worse part is that my ex was right when he told me I wouldn't be able to find someone else because I have a personality of a rock.