I have always come across toxic , destructive men who have destroyed my life and my personality in some way or another. I have a "type" (the guy must be tall, with a nice body, older than me and good looking) and the men who practically caused my downfall were exactly my "type". And surprisingly, I was dedicated to them like hell.
It was only after I lost a lot of things, including certain parts of my personality, I realized how toxic and harmful they were for me.
I lost all motivation, dedication, optimism, everything and was plunged into sadness and depression.
Now, I have known a guy who is not my "type" , though he's gorgeous in looks and has beautiful dark features, he has average height , is skinny and is younger than me by 1 year 5 months.
This guy has been a life saver for me. When I was at my worst, he was the only one I could turn to and he was the only one who could make me genuinely smile. His voice relaxed me and I felt much better whenever I saw his funny antics.
He is a complete nerd but is very caring, genuine and sweet. I gave up on my hobbies due to intense depression but he shares a lot of my hobbies and seeing him do all that, inspired me and after 3 years, I started doing artistic works again. I always want to better myself and learn some of his values. He can cook and I never had interest in cooking but I want to learn now.
He is so sweet and even though he is a little naughty , he still has a bit of innocence in him. He is kind, affectionate, soft spoken and so much less annoying. I feel like emulating a lot of his traits.
But as usual, it seems negative influences are always circulating around me and I keep getting horrid thoughts that i shouldn't be near him because of the shallow reasons. I find it funny how the toxic men had kept my full attention and silently lead to my ruin and I have issues in keeping up with a good guy who is helping me get back on track.
What should I do to beat this negativity? isn't this guy a good influence?