So, I've read tons of books (only if they are on kindle unlimited for free!), that advise women to play hard to get; act aloof; NEVER contact him, let him contact you; never be “available” to him all the time; etc. Is this for real? I have run this stuff past a few guy friends, and I get mixed reactions. One that seemed to stand out to me was from my best guy friend who said "It really doesn't matter what you do or don't do. If he's really into you, you will know it."
So what’s the deal? I’m dating someone now. I’ll call him J. It’s not serious, but I've noticed when he thinks I’m with someone else, he starts to get clingy. If I tell him I’m busy with work or family; or going to yoga; etc.…he seems to be fine with it. When I don’t tell him what I’m doing I get a million questions, constant texts/phone calls of "How's it going?" or "What are you doing now?" or "I wish I could be with you now..." and it seems he thinks I'm with someone else. But when I begin communicating or being available to him, he backs off. It just makes me wonder if he’s really into me or into the chase?
It also makes me think about how I am with men. The ones I don’t want seem to constantly bug me with texts and phone calls and wanting to get together, etc. Or maybe that’s my imagination because when I see their name come across I think “Ugh. Not him again!” They seem to get upset when I’m too busy for them.
J, on the other hand, is perfectly content when I’m busy…unless he thinks I’m busy with someone else.
I realize I’m kind of all over the place here, but I’m not sure what to do with J. I just want to know what’s up with him and how to deal with him, especially if I want more of a relationship with him. I really like J, but am not taking myself off the market unless he’s ready to commit. Any advice is appreciated.