What if every girl you confessed to has rejected you for years?

[peter_87]

So 3,5 years ago, lonely socially awkward kiss-less virgin me decided to go on a journey of self-improvement. I put in a ton of work and gained a large amount of very good friends and I felt more and more comfortable in my own skin. At this point in my life I can say that I really have a great life... with one exception: romance.

Over the years I've had quite a number of crushes and people I've confessed my feelings to. And every time I got rejected. I've tried lots of different things: waiting months to let a friendship develop and really get to know a girl, confessing immediately. I've tried searching actively, I've tried not looking for anyone and just letting things happen. I've groomed myself, started to dress better. I did manage to go on a number of dates, but every single time it resulted in rejection.

I have to add that even though I got much better at talking to people, I do have some moods where I remain socially awkward. Also I have not been blessed for my looks. I'm short (like 99% of all males my age are taller than me), even though I work out my build is tiny and neither my face is going to win any beauty contests.

I don't blame anyone for not liking me back. I always make a point to remain friends even though said confession failed and in a lot of cases it resulted in a great friendship. What bugs me is that I've been working for 3,5 years and still nothing. The most annoying part is the loneliness that comes with it, even though I definitely don't want to feel like that. Is there any hope for me, did it take other people also this long to improve to be good enough to get a girlfriend? Or am I just not made for relationships?

[TheEvilJester]

Okay, first of all there is one thing you need to get straight here. You ARE good enough to get a girlfriend. You don't have to go on this journey of self-improvement to deserve a girlfriend. You DO deserve a girlfriend. Don't get me wrong. It's AWESOME that you went on this journey of self-improvement any way. I'd never advise you not to do that. But, do it FOR YOU. If, as result, it makes you more attractive to females, that is just icing on the cake.

I wish I could give you some magical answer, but I'm right there with you. God, I spent most of my life thinking I was an ugly creature undeserving of love.... but still so badly wanting it. It's taken me basically until now to realize I'm a pretty darn swell guy even if I do say so myself (I don't think I'm God's gift to women or anything, but I'm not too bad)..... but I still haven't clue one about finding myself a gal.

All I can say is, just do your best not to lose heart and just keep trying. You will eventually find a gal. Believe me, there are plenty of guys out there who make you look like a movie star by comparison and they still get women. You are most certainly NOT beyond hope. I know just how you feel with being socially awkward. The God's honest truth, though, is we are ALL socially awkward to some degree. I honestly think that makes folks like you and I better equipped to deal with that if we are willing to do so. We are so used to it that, if we allow ourselves to become self-aware enough, we can actually better react to it. Better learn how to force ourselves out of it.

I wish I could offer more specific advice, but I'm kind of right there with you. All I can say is that you need to give yourself some credit. You DO deserve a good gal. If you haven't found her yet, that just means you haven't found her yet. It doesn't mean she's not out there. Good luck.

[Fuzzyfeeling]

Youre a warrior pal! ,for real i respect that brave soul of yours and all your hard work. Maybe you didnt know this but , you do not have to be perfect to get a gf, ssly no one in this whole wide world is.
I think its just a serious of misfortunate matches ,and hopefully you wont be alone , stay tough pal!

[TheEvilJester]

you do not have to be perfect to get a gf, ssly no one in this whole wide world is.

Well, Curt Hennig was. R.I.P.

...I'm going to keep using that joke until SOMEBODY gets it. LOL!

[samplejanice112]

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