hows it going ladies. i know im gonna get some heat from this thread, and im totally prepared. im gonna summarize my relationship, then quickly talk about the breakup, followed by the post breakup and realization.

Basically. We dated 3 years.
It was totally up and down, the whole time. However... this girl would have NEVER left me, not for the world. She got VERY jealous, she picked alot of pointless arguments, and it took a toll on me.. but at the end of the day, this girl was faithful, supportive, and at the time (between 20-23) I dont know how to put it, I wanted her, but not to sacrifice having a fun life. I didnt want to give her 100% of my attention. She also put me in the middle of A LOT of her familys drama. I didnt want to make social sacrifices for her, but looking back... I would give up everything now, to be with this girl.

Long story short, we broke up, got back together, broke up and continued this cycle probably... upwards of 5-6 times in 3 years. They were always super short, longest was up to a month till the most recent one. That one was actually 6 months ago. I was with her for the last 3 months, of pure drama mostly. Household drama at her house, I had personal life stress. I had 2 surgerys, I couldnt work, I was very much in the hole, and our personal stresses were taken out on each other. I shut down, I became weak. I needed to pick myself back up, and everytime I tried... some kind of stressor would push me 3 steps back. I was stuck... and something inside of me told me I needed to do it alone. So I left her..

That was 6 months ago, and I went through ALL of the phases. Spite, Anger, I dated another girl for 3 months. I compared my new girlfriend to her in my head all the time, and nothing ever felt as real and as perfect as it had been with my longest relationship of my life.

I miss her so much. I dont know... I feel like, ill never know what could happen if i dont try, I just dont know how to even approach it at this point. Do I text her, just to say hi out of the blue, do I message her, do I just ... hope to bump into her at the gym (i just recently found out we go to the same gym, usually at diffrent times though)... or do I just... let it be, and accept my losses... on something I might never actually move on from.

I just wanna know, from a girls perspective, as im sure some of you may have been through this (to some extent of course)
be as real as possible, without being flat out rude please.