A few months ago, I recently identified as bisexual when I confirmed that I was in love with this friend "A" of mine in my class. My feelings for "A" lasted from about September of last year to January of this year when I finally was able to move on without letting her know since I knew my feelings would amount to nothing. Just when I was about to 100% move on, I was told by my other friend that this other girl "B" in our class is in love with me which was the strangest news to hear. I'm not the most attractive looking person and all I have to be proud of is my intellect. I found this weird because me and that girl barely interacted as we were never really close. Plus, "B" is the most beautiful girl I have ever come to personally know. Why would such a top-tier person fall for a shitty one like me? "A" is her friend though, and she informed me that "B" has had feelings for me for the past 6 months and SHE thought that I felt the same way. "B" thought that my "bisexual signs" were directed toward her when in fact, I tried my very best for "A" to notice that I loved her.

The fact was I never noticed so I informed "A" that it is not true that I reciprocate "B's" feelings. Please note that neither of us confronted each other to properly talk about this. We only used our mutual friends like "A" to get by. That month when I knew about "B's" feelings was the month wherein I started to see her differently. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I would have never even noticed her if I didn't know about how she felt. Yes, that's very true. Regardless, I started falling for her and no matter what scolding I did to myself, I only found myself falling further. I never let anyone know about this. I rejected her indirectly by stating that it was not reciprocated. That was the most regretful thing I've ever done this year. I can't stop thinking about what-if's like what if I waited a little longer before rejecting her? We graduated last March with zero interaction. I tried my best not to look her way anymore because I was only killing myself. It's July now and ever since we graduated, I could only do nothing but constantly check her social media accounts to know more about her. I have challenged myself to a game wherein I stop doing that but that didn't work.


I don't know what to do. I have been endlessly thinking of her for the past 6 months and I really don't know how to stop. It's unhealthy and it's not doing me any good. It's currently my summer break so I barely come out of my house. I want to quickly meet new people in my new university and JUST GET OVER THIS POINTLESS ATTRACTION. I always dream of her, it's hard. The dreams are always happy and when I wake up, I just feel like I'm slapped in the face with the reality that I can't get her feelings for me back. I also have social anxiety so there was nothing I could have even done in the past. I need advice, please?