In love but he's not giving me sex

[Passions]

So I have a new bf for about 6 months now. He's a really nice guy with a great personality except for 1 thing! OK maybe 2 lol! He is in a depression and he can't get hard. He's so stressed out and not sleeping or esting much. Has had this problem b4 we got started. So I'm wondering do I stick with him..because he could be the one for me?! I'm being very understandING but inside I'm boiling over. He says he's going to see the doctor about it. But I don't think I can wait much longer. I have a high sex drive.

[topazlight]

He could use fingers, tongue and toys on you in the meantime to satisfy you until he sorts his inability to maintain an erection. Have you discussed this with him about bringing you to orgasm other ways? Keep at him about seeing a specialist.

[melancholia]

I agree with [MENTION=81349]topazlight[/MENTION] there are many other ways to keep sexual intimacy going without actual penetration. Try suggesting other ways to get you off, so that you can have some sense of relief of sexual tension until he can get this sorted out with his Dr.

[Passions]

Yes your right I need to talk to him. He gives me a bit of 4play..but not enough. I don't get it men are so stupid. After 5 mins of sex maybe their done but I'm not! I assume he understands I need to cum..I guess not! Got to explain everything like their kids it's rediculious!

[melancholia]

Not enough men know how much it takes to get women off sometimes. Every woman is different, and some women take much more stimulation to reach orgasm, while others can achieve it easily. One thing I have to say is that not enough women feel comfortable enough to tell guys that. We often find ourselves taking a back seat to sex because so much of sex is focused on the male's pleasure and not a woman's. Women need to be much more articulate when having sex with a guy, especially if they are sleeping with a guy who doesn't do more to make their woman feel good in bed. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it during sex, then right after sex is a good time to bring things up. Talk about fantasies, talk about what you like and don't like, and for the love of all that is holy DO NOT FAKE an orgasm! It teaches men that what they are doing is working, even when it's not, and it's doing disservice to everyone involved. That said, sex should also be more about the journey and not so focused on the end result. If you focus your energy on enjoying the entire experience, it can heighten every aspect of sex, especially the grand finale. I know for me, that when I am too concerned with having an orgasm, I rarely have one. When I am letting go and much more relaxed, focusing on enjoying every sense of the sexcapade, I have a much easier time getting off.

I hope your sex life improves!

[TheEvilJester]

Sex alone is not the most important thing in a relationship..... but that doesn't mean it is NOT important. Now, you say his "issues" are due to his depression. If that is the case, then maybe that is a tick in the column to give him a chance to work on it. After all, if you two might sexually be compatible once he deals with his issues, then it could be worth it to see if he can do that. Frankly, he should want to deal with his depression even if it had NO effect on his sex life at all. He deserves to be happy just as much as anybody would.

In the end, though, you ARE human. You have needs. If he cannot deliver that and seems to have no resolve to even try, then you are not wrong if that is not enough for you. So, if it seems he refuses to do anything to get help, it may be better off that you just move on. Furthermore, how much have you two discussed it in general? I ask because I wonder if he just has a lower sex drive in general than guys normally do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that if he does..... but if you have a high sex drive, then that is probably a pretty good sign you two are not a good match. Now, maybe that isn't the case. I can't know. Maybe it is just his depression causing this and if/when he gets through that he'd be on the same page with you.

I wish I could give you a more definitive answer, but it is sort of one of those things where only you can really decide. Does it seem there is a chance of you two matching more closely if he is just able to deal with his other issues? Then maybe it would be worth giving him the chance to do that (just don't wait around forever). Or, does it seem that even if and when he does get back to his normal, that his normal is likely to still not be quite up to your speed? Then it may be best just to move on.

Good luck to you either way.

[Passions]

Thank u for all the advice. We haven't discussed it too much. He said to me the other day. "I don't know why my libeto is so low I need to go see a doctor about it. And I will because I want to make love to you so bad!" I don't think he had a low sex drive b4 but I'll have to ask. He's depressed lost a lot of weight very thin and insomnia. He's also very well indowed so maybe that's also why he can't keep it up? Lol I have a high sex drive and I haven't talked to him about that because I don't want to make things worse for him. If things don't change soon I will have to move on.

[TheEvilJester]

Then it is certainly possible that it's just his depression and other issues causing this. He could very well have just as active a sex drive as your average guy and that, once he works on his issues, you two could be compatible sexually. I obviously cannot know. However, if he's just got a lower sex drive than your typical guy in general then that may not work out anyway. Again, like I've said, there is nothing wrong with it if he has a lower sex drive just as there is nothing wrong with it if you have a higher sex drive. It doesn't make either of you wrong or a bad person. However, it MAY make you the wrong match if your sex drives do not work together. What would be wrong is for either of you to try to force the other into something that just doesn't work for them.

Good luck. I hope it works out well for you, and hopefully very soon. At the very least, I at least hope if it doesn't work out that you two both find that out and move on sooner rather than later.