Ladies, would love to have your thought on this

[Callos]

If I let her know about my feeling for her, we would lose this friendship and I rather have this friendship in pain than losing it.

[CrystalLight]

I'm really sorry to hear that you have cried over this. I can relate to that 100%, so unfortunately I don't have any good advice for you there. Though I do want to say that you can train yourself to just be happy that this person is in your life. For me - if the people who I love are happy, I'm happy (or at least I try to be). It's not easy to ignore the pain, especially when your feelings run so deep.

If I could tell the man I love that I love him, I would tell him in a heartbeat. But I'm the kind of gal who isn't ballsy enough to do something like that, especially without knowing how he feels. If this lady that you like gives you any kind of a sign that she likes you back, then if say that would be your best shot at saying something.

[Dream_of_Waves]

All you need to do is tell her that you want to be more than friends but that you don't want to lose her friendship if she says no.

[CrystalLight]

If I let her know about my feeling for her, we would lose this friendship and I rather have this friendship in pain than losing it.

Sorry Callos, I didn't see this post. I would have added my two cents in mine if I'd seen it.

You're so right to feel the way you do. Being afraid of losing a very special friend is terrifying. That's something that's holding me back, too. The man I keep referring to was very much a best friend to me, and was for most of my childhood and a little into my adult life. I miss him terribly. We are still good friends, but we barely ever see or talk to one another. My situation is also very complicated, not that I'm bothered by any of that (but it is complicated, and he could be bothered by that).

I hope that you can find the courage to be happy, regardless of the outcome. It's so nice being able to relate to others who are in similar situations, so I hope that we've helped you in some way.

If the pain becomes unbearable, maybe distance yourself from this lady for a little while? Believe me, that's not easy either. But it's definitely worth a try, at least until you've regained a little strength.

[Dream_of_Waves]

[MENTION=83908]Callos[/MENTION] CL makes a good point. Take a step back and get a clearer perspective before you chase. If you want to be the chaser be the chaser. You're a male so maybe she expects that. Does she say she likes you?

Dates are normally one on one for a reason. They're intimate and give 2 people privacy to get to know each other better. Group dates are cool, if that's what you'd prefer, but those kinds of dates come after a couple single dates. By group do you mean double dates, like 2 or 3 couples?

[MENTION=83520]CrystalLight[/MENTION] You seem like a very sweet person. For your sake don't chase after this guy, let him chase you. Relax and focus on yourself. It's clear you're in love with him and care about him in a way that any guy could only dream of, and under complicated circumstances as you say. He should have to earn that, anyone should.

[Callos]

[MENTION=80518]Dream_of_Waves[/MENTION] What I was saying was I would rather hang out with her in a group of people not particularly with other couples. And she did not give any sign that indicate she is interesting in me more than a friend.

[Dream_of_Waves]

Why are you fearful of 1 on 1 dates? If you've given this girl some idea that you only want to hang out with her in a group setting with friends then she'll take it that you just want to be friends. To get to know someone you'll have to put yourself out there and not be afraid of dating 1 on 1. That's how you date and it's where intimacy starts. There are people like psychologists, or sites and YouTube vids that can help you get prepared for dating this woman.

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If you wanna ask her out and be with her you're gonna have to train your brain to 1 on 1. We can give you as much advice as we can if you want to work through your intimacy fears.

[Callos]

I would love to be close with her but the thing is I doubt I can hold on to her. I worry if we start being in a relationship then it only last for a while. Most of her differences I dont mind too much or at least can be tolerate but I can not say she would do the same to my differences.
I love her (sort of) but I dont ask her to reciprocate.

[Aussie Passion]

For my two cents worth, I know how hard it is when you have such strong feelings for someone, and it's hard to decide to know what to do. Although I'm married, and love my wife still, we have had a difficult couple of years, and we nearly separated this year. I've had a LDR online for months with someone else that I eventually met in person. We had a short time together while I was on holidays. It was a truly beautiful experience in every way to be with her... My wife knows about it, as I couldn't lie to her, and we are still together, through good and and bad times.
Although my LDR can never be ( she is unhappy but married, but we live on opposite ends of the world ) , we are still friends, and it is so hard sometimes as I wonder what could be. It can be painful I know. All relationships are a risk, even friendship. Without that risk, there would be no reward. But you know what? There are lots of lovely people in the world you can connect with. You might think there is only one person, but there's not...not in my experience anyway. Feelings won't just go away overnight. You either act on them, or eventually they will fade, for whatever reason....
You only have one life, if you don't try, you may regret that later...

[Callos]

I promised to my self that:
_Will always love her
_Never get mad at her
_If I lose her, I will not forgive myself

[JimBo90]

Then it's simple, do what you can to not lose her.

Aussie P is right on the money. You have one life buddy, it would be better for you to act now while your lives aren't complicated or aren't as complicated as they could be (or as complicated as Aussie P's).

I reccommend you forget the fear, the judgment, opinions, forget all the crap and reasons why you think you shouldn't try. I bet all those reasons have nothing to do with her personally? If you think she's perfect for you, and you want her and love her as you say, jump right in there. Put her ahead of those fears. Fears do nothing for you, you've gotta overcome them and face them. Love deserves that, and if you wanna be her man then you know she deserves that. You deserve that! Chase after the positive, not the neggies, throw yourself into the hands of love man. Tell her how you feel, start there and don't think because thinking only gets us into sh**!

What I disagree with though is that love fades. I don't know, my personal opinion is that true love never fades, haha it gets stronger and stronger. but that's just my guideline for knowing if love is true or not.

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Mate have you heard the saying differences are strengths? We're all different and that's the way it should be, we teach each other and learn from each other. You can live with each other's differences, that's the best part. If she loves you trust me she won't give a rats about your differences. Same goes for you. Me and my ex are very alike and very different. She's the heart and the intetlect and I'm the heart and the guy who's too busy to be the intellect.

I messed it up with my ex BIG time. Work got in the way of us, so after 9 months of being together (I'd been wanting her for 8 years btw) I told her I needed to get my life together. I broke it off with her, the love of my life and soul, because I didn't want her to get in the middle of my mental break down. I regretted doing that immediately and asked her to forget I'd said anything. She didn't, she told me she loved me too much to get in the way of what I needed to do. To this day (10 months later,still broken up) she's been my rock and best friend, as she always had been, she's supported me through thick and thin. I had no idea, no idea how it would go down but she has been AMAZING. The things she's put up with with me. She's the first person I turn to when I need emotional support. I trusted her through this and she trusted me. She's waiting for me to be ready, she gave me what I couldn't give myself, she's gone through hell and back over this when she didn't need anymore hell in her life. Her friends kept telling me that the hell she'd already faced in her life only made her stronger. She was strong for both of us, so that's true. Well I AM ready, to be strong for her. I'm desperate to give her what she deserves and to never let her go. Never been more ready. In 6 days I'm gonna ask her to marry me. I want to love her and care for her, surprise her and show her that happiness can bloody exist forever. We're in each other's lives for that purpose, I see that now. It all makes sense, everything that's happened. I want to be by her side forever, no regrets, no fear, no reservations or thoughts. I'm doing it.

Do what's best for you man. Put your differences aside and listen to your feelings because they're probably gonna be a big part of your life story. They're there so trust that there's gotta be a big reason why they're there. Love can last forever, but you've gotta give it a chance to. True love comes with the most challenges, you can't have a big love story without even bigger challenges. Here's the catch, love wins. If you try.

Peace out

[Callos]

Today is her birthday, she reacted to most of others people wishing on FB timeline but not mine. I hope I am just overreacting and thing doesnt look as bad as it seem. I sent her a message last week ask if she want to go for a movie with me this weekend. Still no respond yet. I hope she will respond by this friday.

[Callos]

I will not find any other woman that I can love as much as I do to her.

[Callos]

Despite having seen my reminder for our hang out this weekend, she still has not reply me. She could just say that she can not go with me but she did not reply 1 word at all. Even the bullying in highschool did not make me so anger like this. Anger and sadness are what I feel right now.

[hazey daisy]

She know how vulnerable you are and doesn't want to out right reject you. Her lack of response is your answer.

You are in this position because of your loneliness. Your obsession of her, your daydreams of her, is what is causing you this pain and loneliness. Introvert or not, you can change. Stop relying on fantasies to fill your loneliness. You are in college, there must be other introverts you can connect with, make new friends, and possibly meet a nice introvert girl that you get along with. But this won't happen unless you let gamer girl go. She is like a drug addiction you need to kick and I am your intervention. Drop the habit, and it will open up all kinds of other opportunities. If you keep hanging on to this girl, you will only go deeper into blackness. She isn't good for you.