Hi everyone,

I have been in an exclusive relationship with a guy for about 4 months now and i am starting get really conflicted feelings about our relationship and would love some opinions and advice to help me sort things out in my head?

Firstly, i have to say that he is a really great guy, on paper he is my perfect guy and the kind of guy i would want to settle down with, that is partly why i am so keen to make it work. I find him attractive, kind, intelligent and i also really respect him and like him as a person. I just don't feel that special 'passion' with him. I can't explain it, because the physical attraction is there and we have developed care and trust for each other, i may even love him. It's strange, because I go through periods where i feel like i do love him and then suddenly i am unsure if i do. I certainly intimately care about him but are they even the same thing?

The thing is, that I don't have a lot of relationship experience so i don't have a lot to compare it to, but generally speaking i tend to fall in love quite easily so this is unusual for me. With my last boyfriend (who was my first proper long term relationship) i felt an incredible 'passion' and fell head over heels in love within a month. Not once did i doubt that i loved him. I just knew, and if it weren't for some differences in our life goals, i would probably still be with him.

I know it is still early in the relationship so i am not expecting anything too drastic just yet but i would like to know that the relationship is going somewhere and right now it just feels sort of like we are in some weird limbo.
It is so frustrating because we are really compatible in every other way but my best description of the problem is that it doesn't feel natural or easy like my last relationship did, so I don't know if it is something that i should give time to, in hope that i will eventually get there, or if i should break it off? Maybe i am just overthinking things?

I am just worried that my last relationship, which was so great, has completely screwed up my ability to settle for anything less, and don't want to give up something that has the potential to be great because it is different to my last relationship. At the same time, though, i don't want to waste either of our time if it isn't going to work out in the long run. We are sort of at that crossroads, and i feel like if i don't love him yet, or at least if i am so unsure about it, are we really meant to be?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!