Hi.
My bf recently broke up with me and I need to know whether I had done a huge mistake and whether my expectations were too high. Firstly, I do not have a lot of experience in (functional) relationships, you could actually say I have very little. I am used to being single, but crave love and intimacy. I met him through a friend, she kept telling me what a great guy he was, very well respected in his community. We clicked instantly and he was pretty obvious about how much he likes me, which I liked. I liked how easy it was to tell, I didn’t have to guess. I liked the idea of him, I am not very sure how much I liked him (but I very rarely fall for a guy at first sight anyway). On our very first date I got the impression he was very infatuated with the idea of us being together, he told me about what he would like to do with me in seven or eight months. It scared me a little bit, I won’t lie, but I thought, it’s time for me to be in a relationship and this guy is offering me the whole package. Don’t get me wrong, I liked him a lot, I just wasn’t in love or infatuated, I was being careful. He suggested we should do something that weekend, I texted him on Friday and didn’t get a reply by Sunday. He said he had a headache. I will later on find out he has two psychological issues which require him to take meds every day. After a few more dates we agreed we like each other enough to start dating officially. He warned me work is crazy right now and he won’t have a lot of time for me. I agreed to this arrangement as I liked him and respected him. He also wanted to make our relationship public on social networks immediately, which I didn’t particularly like. So I told him to wait a bit. In the next few weeks we would meet for an hour and a half (on average) per week for a walk or a cup of coffee. Once he came over and we had a blast (he almost cancelled it though due to medical issues). I started realising that making plans with him was very difficult. His messages were amazing, lovely, romantic af. But getting him to meet up with me was a challenge. He would tell me he was super busy, fighting his medical condition and his work to see me, and I started developing anxiety over having our plans cancelled and me not being able to develop the closeness I needed to continue this relationship. He cancelled on me a few more times (last minute with an elaborate message) and when I would object he would call me insecure about our relationship. I asked him numerous times whether we would meet up for his birthday and numerous times he confirmed. The day before his birthday I asked him about the details of the following day and he never got back to me until the next day telling me he was medicated and had a lot of work he had forgotten about. I objected, again, to my time not being respected and asked him why he didn’t simply tell me this prior to taking the meds that would prevent him from talking to me. On the other hand, he took me to his office party and proudly presented me as his gf, showed a lot of affection and I absolutely loved it. He also took me to the train station when I needed to get home. And then it happened. He cancelled New Year’s on me, last minute, elaborate message which didn’t really give me any specific information. I went crazy on him (via text), called him a liar, a coward and an idiot, told him he ruined everything and I wanted him to feel like sh**. He only then told me why he was cancelling and I instantly felt bad, but the damage was done. Apart from the fact he couldn’t get over my words, he also told me I had a pattern of attacking him and apologising (I wouldn’t really apologise, but say we could work it out). Also, I feel my “attacks” were well-deserved (remember his birthday?) In the last few texts he called me unstable, told me he worked so hard on our relationship and this is what I leave him with, that he wouldn’t ever think of getting back together (because the idiot I was I asked him to reconcile) and that I need to move on and find someone else. He also told me I false advertised myself and told him I was very confident (which I never did) and that he opened up to me and I continued to play a role of a girl with no problems (again, not true, have told him about my insecurity early on). This is the same guy who texted me how happy he was to have me in his life and how much I mean to him. I apologised for my rant but told him I was fed up with the uncertainty of our plans. Would someone else have done something differently? Was I too high-maintenance? Thank you in advance.