Is my boyfriend addicted to video games ?

[Jklo20]

To give you a bit of background, he is 30 I am 20. We currently have been living together for around 4 months, we have been together for almost a year. We moved in so fast because I was in a bad place and I chose the university in his city. We met through a video game when I was 15 of course we weren't in a relationship back then. We started speaking again when I was 19 and that's when I thought started. Now that we moved in together, first weeks were fine we use to spend most of our time together and of course I am aware everyone needs personal space and couples usually retract to their own activities after a while. But last two months all he's been doing is play video games, we don't spend quality time together and we barely have sex. I feel like a 40 year old woman. Although the sex issue is more because sex for me is very painful but I still see no reason not to keep on trying til it stops as I have realised that it seems to get better if we do it often. Anyway... typical day would be, him coming back from work I sit with him whilst he showers then he goes to play video games, keep in mind he doesn't even kiss me sometimes when he comes home, just runs to his pc to turn it on and shower in the meantime. After that I will cook and he comes down to help me and wash the dishes, then we eat and watch an episode or two of whatever show we are watching and then he goes back upstairs and I never see him for the rest of the night. I feel lonely because I still haven't settled into this city yet so therefore I have no friends and know none, I sit downstairs doing nothing basically. I am losing it because I do not enjoy playing as much anymore I grew out of it but he is just like I was when I was 15 even though he is 30. He shows no interest in me and it's making me terribly sad because I do love him but I feel like I am in a relationship with a 15 year old and I am wasting my life.

[richiro]

the answer is yes he is addicted - but yo knew that going in b/c that's hw you met. still i undersatnd that you want to develop the relatoinship.
but a gamer is a gamer.

my recommendation is to start coming up with ideas to do thigns outside of video games and go out and suggest them to him, "oh i heard so n so was coming to town for a show.. sounds like a lot of fun . wanna go?" and stuff like that. if he continues to refuse then you have a decision to make. can ou accept that he's a gamer? or can you not. basicaly you assess what he truly is (not what you want him to be) and decide if tha'ts worthy to stay or if its time to go.

sorry.. no other way than that. trying to change people has never worked.

[Jklo20]

That is very true, I understand his obsession as I was there too. But he seems to think that by spending time with me over food and watching an episode of grand tour it counts as quality time. I have asked for attention before and he is fine for 2 days then goes back to the same.
He is a good person and takes care of me and is there if I need anything but I need a boyfriend too and he is not giving me that right now.
I really want to accept this gamer thing but it's so hard and sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it because it seems as if only I put the effort in the relationship.

[pcmaster]

Welcome to forum Jklo. I read your story and it made me intrested. Im passionate to help.
Well it might just be an episode. He will get bored of games and stop playing ir play less. Im 27 and I have episodes when I play for few weeks and then get bored and dont play for months.

Nature therapy should help. Going outdoors to nature. Beach, sea, woods, whatever. If you want to have more sex then walk naked around the house. It helps. Also tell him to show you the city and indroduce you to people. He shouldnt take you for granted. Stop being mom to him. If things you are doing ate not appreciated you have to stop doing those things. Google stuff, video games addiction. Theres a lot of causes to it.

Theres a lot you can do about it to make things better. Check on astro.com how planets are affecting you in that place using free horoskopes, astro travel. Also there are free listeners online on 7cups.com - some info on addictions too. Right now im using betterhelp website. They have one week free trial and educated counselours in many topics.

What you done so far - cooking for him and such just supports his lifestyle. Talk with him about this.

You are young girl and shouldnt put up with bs in your life. Do whats best for you and dont settle for less. If everything is like someone else wants then why do you need it. At 20 you should naturally have the highest sex drive but not yet enough experience to have sex as much as 30 year old people. Also at your age girls ussualy gets most attention from guys. With 20 year old guy you shouldnt feel 40 year old. Same age helps with having the same interests in life and same matched energy. Because of this I wouldnt go with girl younger than me more than 2 years. Just less problems and less struggle with same age partner.

So look what can you do from my suggestions today and what can you do right now. Good luck ! Please dont disapear but keep us updated. You can make sure I will see your post by mentioning like this [MENTION=1185]Name[/MENTION] of the person you want to mention.
[MENTION=84990]Jklo20[/MENTION]