Love Kindled from Video Games

[Stuck3679]

I started up this team for an online video game and we started looking for new people. One of my team mates said he found someone who might like to join. It was this girl whose name I don't feel comfortable revealing. At first we just started talking and playing the video game but then she started messaging me everyday when she got on. We started talking a lot and realized that we had a lot in common. We found out that were both seniors in high school, both 17 (shes actually only 3 days older than me) and we live about 4-5 hrs away from each other, both in the USA, and there are uncanny things we had in common i dont feel comfortable sharing. So slowly I began to fall for her, but because I know that as male gamers on the internet, we have a reputation to try to hit on every girl on the internet, and I didnt want to seem this way. I tried to preserve our friend ship but these feelings kept building inside of me. One night i stayed up late and just wrote some poetry, which Ive never done before. I wrote a poem about her but I kept it to myself. A couple days later i had a dream about her, and although it was very simple, her being in it was.... I can't even describe it. Then one night, I couldnt keep these feelings inside anymore, and I just blurted something out:

"im sorry, but ive been thinking, theres just something i need to get off my chest. im sorry if im being selfish but im dying inside right now. i really dont think this is appropriate to say but, theres just something. I dont want to ruin our friendship at all. i reaally dont, and i hope that doesnt happen. please dont leave any akward silences, but i have to tell you...over the past couple weeks we've been talking ive found that i dont just like you as a friend, im starting to like you as more than a friend, and i don't want to feel this way because i know we have a good thing going. but i just cant hold it back any longer. im sorry. im sorry."

i was scared at this point but then her next comment was "oh [my name].....I feel the same way." then we were talking about how we both felt this way and now were both scared. we dont know what to do now. this is so foreign to both of us, to be feeling this way. I need some advice, please help me. Thank you.

[Cbrider]

Frasbee should be in to see you soon.

[Lite]

Just so you're aware. You can start a relationship online, you cannot have a relationship online. So, either you meet in person regularly, or it isn't going to work. Everything you feel right now is partly a hoax based upon a relationship that isn't grounded in reality.

Yes, the attraction is real, the rest is a pseudo person whose pussy you have on a pedestal.

[capturedsoul]

If you can find the time and money to meet up often, I say go for it. My boyfriend and I met online, and met up after a month. I now see him every weekend, which works out fine.

But if that proves a problem (the money and distance) then your relationship will suffer. Since you're 17 (I was only 17 when I met my boyfriend), if the "waiting" times of seeing each other is too long for you to bear, then I'm afraid it won't work. And like Lite said, you can't continue the relationship online, you need to physically see each other for it to work.

[Troubleshooter]

Relationships that start online HAVE to become real life relationships as soon as possible. The sooner the better. The longer you wait the more skewed the picture will be of the person you have in your mind. Be prepared for the worst! But hope for the best. Thats what i did and it worked out great, but failures are very common.

1. Grab webcams and microphones so you can see/hear eachother. They are cheap, if she isnt willing to get one then she might be a GIRL (Guy In Real Life). Shocking i know...but it does happen, stay paranoid till you have undeniable proof.

2. 4-5 hours travelling time between the two of you? Thats a big obstacle but can be overcome. How about a first meeting at a place you both know thats halfway between you? Cuts down travelling time to 2-3 hours. (I recommend both of you bringing a best friend for safety and comfort!)

3. Figure out a way to be able to travel to eachother (or again halfway) on a regular basis. Talk to eachother and ask if its ok to spend the money normally spend on movie tickets, dinners, presents on travelling cost insted so you two can atleast talk to eachother in real life and get a feel for eachother (no pun intended). Atleast until a better solution can be found.

4. If something serious comes out of this dating: discuss the future together and find a way to make it work, it will be HARD work i can tell from personal experience. It is up to the TWO OF YOU to figure out if its worth the risk.

Internet relationships are often disregarded as being a bad basis for a relationship or just not worth it. And although i used to believe the same damn thing, the past year i have personally experienced how a online relationship can become a fun real relationship. My best friend is in a similiar situation although it is atm still unsure how that one will end. (check my "girl is afraid of meeting" thread for more lol)

Good luck. You will need it hehe

[Stuck3679]

Relationships that start online HAVE to become real life relationships as soon as possible. The sooner the better. The longer you wait the more skewed the picture will be of the person you have in your mind. Be prepared for the worst! But hope for the best. Thats what i did and it worked out great, but failures are very common.

1. Grab webcams and microphones so you can see/hear eachother. They are cheap, if she isnt willing to get one then she might be a GIRL (Guy In Real Life). Shocking i know...but it does happen, stay paranoid till you have undeniable proof.

2. 4-5 hours travelling time between the two of you? Thats a big obstacle but can be overcome. How about a first meeting at a place you both know thats halfway between you? Cuts down travelling time to 2-3 hours. (I recommend both of you bringing a best friend for safety and comfort!)

3. Figure out a way to be able to travel to eachother (or again halfway) on a regular basis. Talk to eachother and ask if its ok to spend the money normally spend on movie tickets, dinners, presents on travelling cost insted so you two can atleast talk to eachother in real life and get a feel for eachother (no pun intended). Atleast until a better solution can be found.

4. If something serious comes out of this dating: discuss the future together and find a way to make it work, it will be HARD work i can tell from personal experience. It is up to the TWO OF YOU to figure out if its worth the risk.

Internet relationships are often disregarded as being a bad basis for a relationship or just not worth it. And although i used to believe the same damn thing, the past year i have personally experienced how a online relationship can become a fun real relationship. My best friend is in a similiar situation although it is atm still unsure how that one will end. (check my "girl is afraid of meeting" thread for more lol)

Good luck. You will need it hehe

Im not sure I have undeniable proof, but she's shown me pictures and we've talked a lot via mics and i dont think theres any chance shes not who I think she is. Turns out after google mapping it, its only a 2hr 19 minute drive to where she lives so thats not a real biggie. I have a tournament (tennis) thats happening 18 minutes from where she lives in her hometown, that takes place this weekend, but I dont know. I think i would be very nervous to meet her.

[Troubleshooter]

Im not sure I have undeniable proof, but she's shown me pictures and we've talked a lot via mics and i dont think theres any chance shes not who I think she is. Turns out after google mapping it, its only a 2hr 19 minute drive to where she lives so thats not a real biggie. I have a tournament (tennis) thats happening 18 minutes from where she lives in her hometown, that takes place this weekend, but I dont know. I think i would be very nervous to meet her.

ooowh, that does sound like a excellent oppertunity though. Maybe tell her about it and ask see if she 'takes the bait' and asks if she can come watch you. If she doesnt and you are feeling up to it: ask her to come see you.

Yes you will be very nervous, she will likely be just as nervous though. Stay calm, be yourself.

[Stuck3679]

ooowh, that does sound like a excellent oppertunity though. Maybe tell her about it and ask see if she 'takes the bait' and asks if she can come watch you. If she doesnt and you are feeling up to it: ask her to come see you.

Yes you will be very nervous, she will likely be just as nervous though. Stay calm, be yourself.

I told her about it before I told her that I liked her and she said she wanted to come. But I told her I thought it might be too awkward. But in light of what just happened i guess i could reopen it.

[lovesjoyajm]

Im not sure I have undeniable proof, but she's shown me pictures and we've talked a lot via mics and i dont think theres any chance shes not who I think she is. Turns out after google mapping it, its only a 2hr 19 minute drive to where she lives so thats not a real biggie. I have a tournament (tennis) thats happening 18 minutes from where she lives in her hometown, that takes place this weekend, but I dont know. I think i would be very nervous to meet her.

This is the PERFECT opportunity to meet her. Tennis... shows her you're not just a nerdy computer gaming guy... you have a legitimate excuse to be there, after the game you can talk for a bit and maybe go out for coffee or something, and you already have a conversation starter - the game, your teammates, whatever. You're not going to get any LESS nervous to meet her by putting it off. Take the opportunity.

[Junket]

Thank you Rider, for your referral.

However, despite their being young and still dependent upon their family for money, transportation, housing, food etc. 2 hours time is not all that bad to deal with in a long distance relationship.

However.

For two individuals not yet fully independent and most likely moving on to school or work in the near future, I would chalk this up to a short lived mutual infatuation.

Due to the circumstances most of which being their proximity to each other and non-preteen age, I will not add this to the "Doomed Internet Relationships" thread.

[Serious]

You should try to meet her in real life more often.

[Stuck3679]

Unfortunately the tennis tournament I was going to use to meet her was pushed back a month, so that won't be happening for a while, but we've still decided to meet as soon as we can. We think this Saturday but shes not sure if she'll be free. I want to meet her, but I'm really nervous about it. We've had hour long conversations before on the phone and we talk pretty much every second we're on over AIM but just the idea of seeing her is just.....makes me feel so anxious. I'm not really sure how to make the meeting go so that we don't end up in awkward silence, after awkward silence. She said that we would most likely end up just hanging out at a mall, which I guess is ok. I've never really been to a mall before besides just running errands with parents.

Is there something we could do or things we could talk about that would make the day go more smoothly?

[Cbrider]

Is she a Night Elf Rogue?

[Lite]

Maybe a Night Elf Mohawk.

[Indignant]

i will not wake up at 6 tomorrow. damn.