Is she mad at me? Are we drifting?

[broken <3]

I recently met a girl named Jane in December last year at a friend's party. We hit off really well after a few weeks and we would talk to each other a lot. It was the holidays so we would go out with our group of friends quite a lot, meaning we get to see each other a lot. She would talk to me the most out of the group and would always sit beside me when we were eating or watching a movie. She would also text me and call me everyday. We would call through the night and fall asleep on the call every night. She has depression and would tell me most of her issues and would come to me whenever she felt sad or had suicidal thoughts. She told me a lot about herself, stuff like her cutting herself or family problems. Even after school had started, she would call me the moment she reached home. However, she suddenly started texting me lesser and lesser, and would only call me late at night for only a short while or sometimes not at all. She also takes unusually long to respond to my messages or sometimes will just ignore them. She rarely starts conversations with me anymore and feels really distant. I'm not sure if she's angry at me and I care about her a lot and I really don't want us to drift apart. It feels like a punch in the gut when she ignores me and I really want us to be close again. Any suggestions?

[TheEvilJester]

Why is this in off topic discussion instead of the main board?

Anyway, this in and of itself MAY be a sign of problems or it may not at all. Sometimes when you get more and more comfortable with a person you no longer feel the need to be in constant contact. Maybe this is more her normal. She talked to you constantly before because it was new and exciting, but now it is more comfortable and normal. And... Hell, that actually doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing.

So, without more evidence to go on, it is really hard for us to speculate. How often do you get to talk in person or at least on the phone? When you do lately, does it seem like she's distant and disinterested, or does she still seem just as enthusiastic to talk to you? Did anything specifically happen that might explain why she'd become somewhat distant?

It is possible you are just worried over nothing, or it is also possible she IS pulling away. Of course, she's also shared with you about her depression, so it could even be possible she's pulling away, but doesn't really mean to do so. Maybe she's just in a funk lately and sort of retreats from everybody whether she means to or not.

I guess maybe I'd personally suggest just give it some time and keep up with things as though they are normal. In other words, don't stop reaching out to her. At least not right away. Hopefully in time things will return to normal. Or, if this is her new normal, hopefully you will see that it doesn't mean she likes you any yes, that this is just what is normal for her and she was only so constantly in touch earlier because it was new.

If it doesn't seem like it gets any better, you could always try talking to her about it. I'd say approach it, though, as if part of you thinks you are worried over nothing. Something like "Hey, I was just wondering if things are okay with us. I'm not sure if maybe I'm just worrying for no reason, but it just seems we don't talk as much as we used to. Is everything okay?" Maybe you can word that a little better, though. That's just off the top of my head.

Bottom line, though, if she has started to pull away, you can certainly try to talk to her, but I would only suggest you do that to a degree. You shouldn't have to feel like you basically have to force somebody to give you their time. So, if she IS pulling away and continues to do so even if you do try to talk to her.... then my suggestion would be to just let her. Whether a friend or more than a friend, it doesn't really matter either way, you don't deserve somebody who can barely be bothered to give you their time. As a friend or as something more, if somebody can't see that you are worth their time, then they are not worth yours. That is worst case scenario, so I hope you don't even have to find that out, but at least I hope you are willing to care enough about yourself to do what's right for you if it does come to that. Good luck.