needed advice

[Manju IT]

thanks for ur straightforward answer hooo

after ur message I think that ur right ..I only have built my prison ... but I have a doubt like.. y after so many boundaries I tried to please him ,he left me..

am I unlucky or wat is it???

[pcmaster]

Maybe you tried too hard. When you try too hard it pushes other person away. Maybe you should have let him to win you, let him be a hunter that man wants to be.
Anyway you think too much about it. You have to remove your mind from this shit. Try to do something interesting or new. You have to stay busy.

[Manju IT]

thanks a lot..

this site helped me a lot to know about myself..and as u advised I vl try to do new things from next week..
because tomorrow is the day where I felt my love and day after tomorrow is the day where I said him ..no one can stop me from feeling about him on these 2 days..
sure from next week I vl try to b a person where I live my life..

thanks a lot

[Hooo!]

this is another issue of pretending.
im not saying pretending is bad.
Sometimes you want to be a certain way but you are not there yet. Then sometimes its ok to pretend as if. However just pretending to be or do something that you know you wont really like in the future
and then changing to what you do want and like
either its too late
or its violating the other peoples trust too much
or they dont believe you
or everything will fix itsself.

Sometime being who you are is not enough. Then if you want you can leave - or change yourself.
Pretending something you do not to be (or what you dont want to do) will seldomly give you the results you are looking for in my humble oppinion.

Be honest with people about who you are and what you feel. Especially with your friends and lovers.
You can only see if you have real friends if they help you grow and deal with your problems. That doesnt mean they sympathize with you. They may call u stupid and crazy too sometimes. But they help you and dont just ignore your feelings or pretend to care or talk behind your back or laugh about you (well sometimes they will do the latter - but only if you were really really stupid tho :-) )

trust people.
And see how they handle that. See how people react and who is worth of your trust.
Evalute and reevalute.
Trusting however means you are honest.
With yourself first - so you are clear about what you want and think and feel
and then with others - so you know who it is worth to put your trust in.

[Manju IT]

sorry I could not understand wat u meant by pretending and related stuffs..

do u say that I want to pretend as if I m OK without him..??

and s I have to talk to others, trust others but really I m afraid to talk ... I don't how to say wat to say..

and can u help me to overcome my possessiveness ..
ci think mistake I made in my relation is being possessive but I vl b possessive even on my female friends and they also do same..so it dint mean much to me then but now I feel that being possessive vl ruin my life..so help me

[Manju IT]

I really don't know wat to do...actually I am being fine for 2 days and then again I m starting to cry thinking of something already happened or thinking of something that might happen... I m actually being afraid to face something... I don't know wat to do.

I could hold back my tears and memories for onl days..pls someone help me

[pcmaster]

Its pretty hard to stay calm at this season. Spring hormones are kicking in.
Have you tried to talk with someone about how you feel and think? If you dont wanna talk about it with people then only option I see is medication to feel stable - mood stabilizers so you wont cry. Anyway be cool, there will be other guys in your life.
Really some nice indian guys are out there. You its just a question of time when you will meet someone.

- - - Updated - - -

Slso you can google some breakup guides. Then follow insyructions to move on faster and feel better.

[Manju IT]

thanks pcmaster..

I dint talk about this to anyone..and I wanna talk with someone sooner or later..

I have already gone through google and then only I decided to talk in this forum..

today he called me regarding professional work and as conversation went on he told me that seeing me and loving me is a greatest sin that he had made ...and told that he vl do anything here after to make me feel hurt... and said that he is happy that he actually broke up with me...

hereafter he is no more in mylife..and I know he won't come back..and even if he comes I won't accept him.no one has ever hurted me like this... am I that a harsh girl ??

[Hooo!]

Well we don't know what you did or didn't do. However hurting other people like that intentionally displays very pure character. As if he'd be feeling better if he's torturing you.

Be glad this twisted person is out of your private life.
Forgive yourself for whatever you did.
Don't pretend something in your private life again. Don't pretend to be a certain way in your relationship if you are not.

And talk with someone? Do you have friends or do you have person who you can trust and who actually keep their mouth shut?

You have made bad decisions. You have made bad experiences
Let it go. Learn from it.
You have now the chance to lead a life filled with love and forgiveness.
And filled with earned trust and honesty.

If you take this chance you will be so much better of than with a hurt disrespectful hateful male like your ex.
I am happy for you that such a foul person is not in your life anymore.

Forgive him. He doesn't know better
But you can do better

[Manju IT]

thanks for ur reply hooo...

s I need to forgive him and forgive me and live my life without any limitations and hurts... I need to really live my life and I learned a very big lesson in these years and I m going to take the next step of my life..

do u think this character of his is pure?? sorry I don't understand it..

[Hooo!]

you cant live a life that doesnt hurt
or if you can - please tell me how.

but you can live your life regardless. Hurting is part of this life. It feels like shit. Most of us have been there.
Life also is wonderful and you can also enjoy it.


no i dont think he is pure. Pure evil perhaps.
i think he is a (emotionally stupid) asshole.
Someone who deliberately hurts other persons is not a person I would want to be around.
Be glad that he is not part of your life anymore.

[Manju IT]

thanks for ur reply once again..

s ur right.. life has hurting as it's part but I think life has given me too much hurt and I need to stop it now..

he called and asked sorry about saying sin.. I think v r not perfect couple and v don't suit for each other.. may be he may find someone whom seems to be so good in his view..
I missed him like hell and today his words are anchor to me to move in my life.. I should move forward in my life..

[Hooo!]

I have only one way to stop the pain to be working and I wonder if youknow what it is?

[Manju IT]

what is it???

I dont know wat ur referring to...

[Hooo!]

Think about it.
Gues if you want.
If you don't know then hit me up in a week and I tell you

It's actually rather straight forward and obvious and no big Realisation really