needed advice

[Manju IT]

hi I m final yr engineering student. I was in love for 3 yrs and recently we broke up . there were several reasons for that. I don't want it to be known to my friends as they don't know that I m in love even .so I can't even share with them.I want to act like I m normal before them. v r of same class. I don't have anyone to share my feelings. so I want some people to hear my feelings. I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I need help.

during our first yr v were friends and v became lovers. our life was going happy and then problems started and it was going with so many problems. now v got broke up. I really miss him but he doesn't even care about it . he just throwed me like waste out of his life. I feel so bad. I don't know how he just throwed me after being together for 3 yrs. he s my first love. I loved him a lot. I need help. pls help me

[shrah25]

Hi Manju - Sorry to hear about the situation you're in. I'm going to need a little more info in order to help you properly. Are you ok with explaining more about the reasons why you both broke up? You mentioned that there were several reasons so if you could let me know what those were that would be great. There are two ways to overcome pain: (1) the band aid fix which is short term or (2) Healing at the deeper level which creates long term happiness. If you want (2), i'm going to need more info.
Thanks

P.S Feel free to add me on Skype at shrah25

THanks

[Manju IT]

thanks Shrah for hearing my problems..

v were going fine in our relationship and 1 day it was a festival season and I wished to one of my junior boy in watsapp and was talking about his first yr CLG and i dint say this to my boyfriend. he asked me with whom was talking in angry manner so I was afraid and told just I wished and I dint talk after 2 days he found my whole conversation and was scolding me like something and then he asked for my fb password and saw my old texts with my school friends and was scolding asking why u talked with him that this.. it was a terrible period in my life but since I lied to him on festive day and mistake was mine I felt bad and asked thousands of sorries to him .. and then after 4-5 months it came to normal position but also he vl often say that and scold wenever any fight comes and after that 1 festive day I uninstalled watsapp hike I just left everyone for him.

now he says that u dint do anything for 2 yrs that made me happy . u left them but u were thinking about them u dint leave them whole heartedly that this..

he is really a good boy but he doesn't believe me ..he always has doubt on me.. wenever I talk to any boy even single word fight will come..
after this breakup also I couldn't think of his negatives .I can only think of positive days where v were happy ..but he is thinking only of days v were fighting.I don't know wat to do
I wonder how he could leave me.. since v are of same class project realatedly we were talking few days before and that time also he s hurting me like something

my side also there is mistakes . I m v possessive about him . if he talks with girls I vl get angry but my anger vl last for few hours max but his anger vl b for few days.

help me and say me wat went wrong in my life

[pcmaster]

It seems like guy is very insecure and jealous and finding out that you lied made him lose trust to you and made him even more insecure.

I suggest you dont take him seriously and dont run after him. Also find someone you can trust your pain. It would help a lot talking about this in person.
I dont see anything bad you did. You wasnt perfect but not bad too. Guy is overacting too much and its his problem. You can find another guy. 3 years is pretty good time to be in relationship so at least it lasted this long. But seems like its time to move on.

[Manju IT]

thank u pcmaster for ur advice..

I can clearly understand that he felt insecure and its his problem and even I think that I should move on but I couldnot understand 1 thing .. how s he being like nothing happened and being so normal enjoying with his friends..

how can he forget me

I may sound crazy but I need to know how ..kindly help me know it

[pcmaster]

Well guys and girls are diferent. you see guys after breakup feel good. But later they feel very bad. So dont conntact him and after few weeks he might come back to you cause he will start to miss you a lot.

Girls after breakup feel bad but later they feel good.

[Manju IT]

really thanx a lot PC master

as of now he s saying that he feels no difference in life and life before and after breakup seems the same.. wat does this mean??

we broke up 2 weeks before but for past 4 months v r talking well.. so is it that he became normal and this became a habit for him ..

I could not understand anything .. my mind is so disturbed.. I need answers for my mind.

I feel right now that I m over reacting but I could not stop till my mind gets an answer.

I left everyone for him. now I have no one to share anything.. friends whom I have , I could not talk about it as they r our class.. pls help me to overcome from this

[pcmaster]

Well thats mistake to leave friends for BF. Friends would help a lot you now. Its much easier when you have someone to talk. Or at least hang out with. Emotional support and support system is important in relationships and life. So maybe you can trust at least one of your friend or relative.
If not then you can go chat on 7cups.com with volunteer listeners. Its free. Cause I will be busy today with my own life.

[Manju IT]

really thanx a lot PC master

wen u can ans to my question answer it..it is must that u take care of ur life..i really thank u for ur concern.

as of now he s saying that he feels no difference in life and life before and after breakup seems the same.. wat does this mean??we broke up 2 weeks before but for past 4 months v r talking well.. so is it that he became normal and this became a habit for him ..I could not understand anything .. mymind is so disturbed.. I need answers for my mind.
I may be overreacting but I could not stop till my mind getsan answer.

and I know I should not leave my friends but I thought him as my life and I thought if I dint talk with my friends our life will be going without problems and v both can be happy.. but he just went and all went alone with him..

[pcmaster]

Well he dont miss you yet if he dont feel diference. But give him time to miss you. Dont contact him first.

I dont understand your other question. What became habit to him? Talking well past 4 months?

[Manju IT]

I feel that living without me became a habit to him. so he is not missing me and throwed me out of his mind

and really thanx for ur advice ..I vl try not to talk to him.

[I am You]

See, that fact that u love here is good isn it?
So why u waste your time on your friends? If your friends would be really friends they gonna support you as much as possible in any situation. If not means they not really your friends.
I grown up in a big city and I can tell ya I had a lot of friends but these was just friends to have fun not to trust. I found so many friends I swear but my mistakes was that I was listening to my friends all the time if I had a girlfriend. And thats what makes it broke. If you love here and she loves you get into a realtionship dude. There is nothing in this world what is better the love so dont miss it because aof some firends. If they decide to cancel your friendship that means they are not really your friends. I am just here to help you buddy and I mean it for real if they friends of you they gonna support u but anyway if u have a girlfriend you will not have so much time with your friends anyway.

[pcmaster]

It takes a longer time to form a habit.

Dont worry. He will cry and come back to you.

[Manju IT]

thank u pcmaster .. I feel little relaxed now and if he come to me r not but he has to feel my love ..

he is my first love..I loved him a lot..if he does not feel my absence then it means my love is false.. I have to c my love is true..he has to feel my absence.

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thanks.. ur right I am you..

I know that true friends are rare to find but I believe that school friends make best of our life.. though we know that friends are just for fun and they don't be with us it is important to have friends right.

but I truly accept that friends are not true now..

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I have a doubt that if he doesn't even think about how would he think of me, feel of me, or at least remember me..

because he has passion towards music so he vl b hearing it all the time and he has group of friends to hang out with and he watches serials..so there is no time for him to think about me know... then how vl he feel my absence..???

[pcmaster]

First love is the hardest. This is the hardest part. But after that it gets easier.

He will think about you when he will get horny again. Either you or other girl but I doubt he can get other girls easy since hes been in relationship for 2 years and it makes guy useless for picking up girls. He just dont have skills with getting new girls.

Anyway if you dont contact him and even if he dont come back then no contact will help you to move on faster. I mean you will never move on if you keep in touch.
You see its much easier for him to feel good cause he have those friends and it makes huge diference.
You on the other hand dont feel like you have real friends so its harder for you.

Yeah passion can help too. If you have some hobby or can do something thats interesting. Basicaly get your mind off the problem for a while.
A little drinking can help a lot too. It kinda resets feelings.