Longing to be loved

[pcmaster]

Np man. Just wanted to say it took me years. It wasnt few weeks or few months process of getting over it.

So today I messaged a girl pretty much while working. Messaged her in every break and sometimes in between breaks too at work. Then got home to find out she had all day off. Also she said that she would like to meet more often. I said we will think about something and suggested to go for a walk(we live only 1km from each other) since its a really beautiful day and warm too.
She said that shes taking her car to carwash. I said rodger that.

And she didnt get back to me. When I went to sleep messaged her good night and no reply to that either despite that it shows she readed it.
This is the weird part about girl, that she disapears and It happened saturday too for whole day - 3 messages and phone call but she didnt reply. But sunday she replied and still wanted to meet. Now this girls phone are busy cause when we watched movies for 5 hours, she got like 5 texts signals that she didnt look at, only when there was 3 texts in a row she looked, and 2 phone calls that she answered + she went to meet a friend I think for short moment. At the same time my phone remined silent.

This is the weird part about girl.

Okay so today we chatted everything out. It happens she was with her family and they have a rule no phones when with family. Thats why she didnt responded saturday and yesterday she wanted me to go with her wash car but didnt told me that. So I said if she wants something then tell it cause I cant read mind.

[CleanCut]

Np man. Just wanted to say it took me years. It wasnt few weeks or few months process of getting over it.

Unfortunately, I don't have that kind of time anymore, so I'll have to figure something out. Thanks

Okay so today we chatted everything out. It happens she was with her family and they have a rule no phones when with family. Thats why she didnt responded saturday and yesterday she wanted me to go with her wash car but didnt told me that. So I said if she wants something then tell it cause I cant read mind.

Sounds like a lie to me, her family shouldn't have any ruling over what she does with her phone, unless she's like a teenager or something of course. What's the deal with that man? Also, why would you go wash her car anyways?

[Hooo!]

Most important thing for me is to say what I want and if girl responds well then good - I have opened girl with a first thing that comes to my mind and being original. If girl dont respond well then shes not my type as I dont connect with her. I relly on luck and who I am. If its not enough then I try again with other girls. But not trying to be more than I am.

here you go

and i was talking about going from one stage like sending sms to suddenly trying to kiss her.
i was talking about you advancing not too fast but in too big steps - too suddenly too out of character and too unnaturally
the "anal sex" was just plagiatively so you would understand what i mean.
but maybe i just failed at explaining.

[pcmaster]

Dont understand what you mean with this quote Hooo.

Anyway Clean, it might be faster for You to move on since you are in your thirties so not so obsessed with looks like 20 year olds. Also I did a lot of gaming and jerking off without really doing much with my life first two years. After that I got over it. I remeber going to dentist once and was feeling insecure about my looks. But she kinda noticed that and said - "we all have differences and pretty big ones." Now when Im older I understand it.

Your soul is not on easy journey in this life. It will be transformed in ways you dont imagine. I predict going tru stages of grief and acceptance. But once you get out of life what you want, everything is gona be worth it and you will be stronger and happier than ever.
I know I am.
As Rocky said - ...You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

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About my relationship. Clean I trust her. Yes it seems like shes lying but I have nothing else left but to trust girl. I see it is worth try only with positive thinking.

Hooo did a pretty good post on this Indian girls topic. I showed lines of his post to girl and she agreed with that. We both agree.
----------------
"You both have jealousy issues. Those come from not knowing (emotionally knowing) what the other person feels. Meaning if you both would absolutely believe in your love for each other then there is no reason to be angry just because a member of the different sex is talking to your partner

And the reason for all that drama is, that you dont talk on various serious levels about your relationship.
If you are honest about everything then there is no need to hide anything. If one or both of you then cant handle the other just being friendly to someone then perhaps you are too immature to lead a lasting relationship."
--------------------

She have a 4 guy friends so thats why we were talking about this topic.

Anyway today was great. Stressful day at work but chatted with girl and agreed to go to sea today after work since we both ended work early. But when time came she said she have to watch her brothers kid cause he was late at work. So we didnt even meet today. I was pissed off and she was not happy too since we both wanted it. But we still have whole sunday and maybe even saturday day.

[Hooo!]

I wanted to point out with that quote that you play a numbers game.

To clean cut:
Stop excuses. A scar is showing bravery also.
Looks are not that important. And i do not think it damages your chances with the ladies much.
Your trying so hard and your being negative about it. That's what hurts your chances imho

[CleanCut]

I'm definitely not secure or used to my "forced" appearance changes at this point, but maybe I'll feel better and accept it in a few months or so and be able to regain some confidence hopefully, it is just really tough because I really liked the way I looked before all this craziness and really don't like what I see in the mirror now. Thanks guys and good luck with that girl pcmaster.

[pcmaster]

You could get tattoo on your scar. Like dragon or something.

[Hooo!]

It is not what you or girls see

It's who you see

[pcmaster]

So just came back from girls house.

We were talking about going out like bowling or ice skating but in the end I just said - I will just go to you and we will cook and eat. And We cooked chicken breasts with pineapple and sweet cream.
Chicken breasts was not the only breasts I had in my mouth today. I got to her breasts and licked her nipples too. Also this time kissed her neck. Was not holding myself back to turn her on. It was close to sex. We were breathing hard when I stopped. Her body was hot, literally so warm it was hot. I put her hand on my D and put mine on her V. She was rubbing me. Anyway we were in bed what was great - much better than sofa cause I suggested to watch movies on bed instead of sofa.
felt like Im taking a lead and she was just sometimes putting her hand on front of my pants.
We spend like 5 hours together eating, watching movies and making out. I wanted to ask does she wants sex but remember when we talked about it before and I said like for me sex would be normal at 4th date but she said that she have to get to know person before and she said it have to happen spontaneous but I said I think it have to happen when theres passion and its hard not to have sex. Idk if I left her disappointed or its okay, but before I left we agreed to meet tomorrow. I had thin condoms with me and will have tomorrow too.

[CleanCut]

So just came back from girls house.

We were talking about going out like bowling or ice skating but in the end I just said - I will just go to you and we will cook and eat. And We cooked chicken breasts with pineapple and sweet cream.
Chicken breasts was not the only breasts I had in my mouth today. I got to her breasts and licked her nipples too. Also this time kissed her neck. Was not holding myself back to turn her on. It was close to sex. We were breathing hard when I stopped. Her body was hot, literally so warm it was hot. I put her hand on my D and put mine on her V. She was rubbing me. Anyway we were in bed what was great - much better than sofa cause I suggested to watch movies on bed instead of sofa.
felt like Im taking a lead and she was just sometimes putting her hand on front of my pants.

Ok, a little confused here, how exactly did this not lead to sex? Did she tell you to stop or something? If you got that far, she really wants to have sex with you man; just do it!

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It is not what you or girls see

It's who you see

True, but I barely recognize myself at the moment unfortunately; so It will take quite a bit of mental rebuilding to get back to the confidant guy I once was. It will be tough, but not impossible I hope as I really would like to get back to dating soon since it is the most active season for it.

[pcmaster]

Really lol? I was thinking maybe Im disapointing her with not having sex. But then again what do I know lol. Never banged girls before. At least I didnt left her naked on the bed like first girl.

Its just I wish she sometimes would be first to kiss me. Otherwise Im always the one to initate kiss.

[CleanCut]

Really lol? I was thinking maybe Im disapointing her with not having sex. But then again what do I know lol. Never banged girls before. At least I didnt left her naked on the bed like first girl.

Its just I wish she sometimes would be first to kiss me. Otherwise Im always the one to initate kiss.

Yes, you are insulting these girls when you get them all hot like that only to just back off and leave them hanging, they are probably left thinking you don't like something about them and they might not give you more chances with them in that case.

We are the men my friend, we do the initiating; get her back over and just go for it. If she let you get that far she wants you to go down on her and once again, don't over think or worry about what she is thinking about you or the situation, you want to have sex; so do like the Nike slogan says and just do it man!

[pcmaster]

Alright then. I really felt ready for sex. Like not so turned on but felt ready mentally. It seems like she accepts me the way I am and I accept her.
This time Im not so much into feelings. Sure I wish she would say she likes me. I would like that.
I called her cool girl so far. I have so many untold compliments. Things that I wanted to say. Will have to say what I like about her. Really encourage her.
Hope will have another chance today.
I want something long lasting. Not one time thing but something that would last and continue for many months. Guess I will have to get out my D at least sometimes if I want this to last lol.

[CleanCut]

Alright then. I really felt ready for sex. Like not so turned on but felt ready mentally. It seems like she accepts me the way I am and I accept her.
This time Im not so much into feelings. Sure I wish she would say she likes me. I would like that.
I called her cool girl so far. I have so many untold compliments. Things that I wanted to say. Will have to say what I like about her. Really encourage her.
Hope will have another chance today.
I want something long lasting. Not one time thing but something that would last and continue for many months. Guess I will have to get out my D at least sometimes if I want this to last lol.

Yep, you can save the sappy complements for later, after the sex and if she stays with you after that, then that's cool, but in my experiences that is when they usually bail, after the true feelings come out, but you just never know.

Just get her back in the sack and release the hound my friend so you can leave all that virgin anxiety crap behind you for good!

[pcmaster]

This girl dont seem to be like the others. I know sounds banal but really. So far been with 3 girls and this seems to be unique. Not so sexually agressive as first one but much easier than second one.

If me meet today Im planning to bring flowers. That way I could make her feel beautiful and appreciated.

You think like american, Clean. Like virginity is crap and it needs to get over with. But I see it as something special. Thats how I stand out from a crowd. Theres something pure and divine about me lol. Not saying my farts smells like candy but Im like opposite to manwhore.

Anyway I have idea - when we like kissing passionatly and I have turned her on, I will pull out condom from my pocked and show it to her and ask - "DO you want it?" Sounds like good idea Clean? Offering girl a condom.