start giving to other people
i dont see what the problem is.
I dont see why you have to be rude or anything. My impression is that you are incredibly unsure about yourself.
So i give you some general hints:
You can only make the best decisions with your current knowledge. Everyone makes mistakes. Dont be afraid of making them.
If you do something then do it with full intention and full awareness of the consequences and hold true to yourself.
Maybe it was stupid. Then you can admit that and do better next time.
Be honest with everyone. If you think people are shit - call them out on it.
GIVE to people. It doesnt cost you anything to be kind. If it doesnt cost you anything then share and be greatful.
Be friendly, but also honest at the same time.
If you dont like someone - let them know.
If you did something wrong - apologise.
If you did nothing wrong - dont apologise.
be more realistic about the world. Be straight and expect people to be straight with you.
DECIDE things. and stick to it. If someone else comes along he will need good arguments for you to change your decision.
stop being stiff and uptight but also stop following other people blindly.
be responsible for the things you do - and expect others to do the same.
To me you seem to be a very socially conditioned person whos entire life is based on what other people do to her and how they see you. You put way to much emphasis on "how things are done" on your social surrounding. You think that things are happening TO you - instead of thinking about what you need to change in order for things to be different.
You think about little thinks way to much (like the temple food story. The whole thing is just plain stupid nonsense). You overanalise and then act on your overly analytical thoughts.
If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.