is it considered rape if i didnt stop him

[omghny]

I was dating a guy about 8-10 months ago. I was really interested in him and we got along really well. About our third date we were having drinks at a local bar near his place. I only had two beers and fries so I was completely sober that night. I wasn't watching the time and realized it got really late and noticed that the transit was closed. So I decided I'd just crash at his place. Now I had no intentions on sleeping with him, I just wanted to well, SLEEP. We made out (I was fine with that) and we then went into his room to continue making out. I realized it was starting to get really intense I decided to tell him that I don't plan on having sex because I was still a virgin. He started laughing and he said thats fine and continued to make out. He started to grab onto my breasts and tried on taking my shirt off, I grabbed onto his hand and told him to stop but he said he wasn't going to do anything. So I took off my shirt. He then started to touch me down but I didn't resist. He tried going down on me but I quickly got up and said no I didn't want him to. He said because I was a virgin he wanted to teach me. And pushed me back down and then went down and again I didn't resist. But I didn't enjoy it either. We never did have actual sex but would it still be considered rape if it was just oral?
I'm dating someone else now and I agreed and wanted to have sex with him but the minute we were on the bed I got really scared/nervous. All I could think about was how shit I felt that night.

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[pcmaster]

I started to laught too. And Im a virgin. What did you expect? Third date is normal for sex and you shouldnt even kiss him if you didnt wanted to have sex because you was at his place. I understand you are virgin but if you stay overnight then it would be very weird not to have sex if you two are dating.
I say it wasnt rape but he was for sure trying to turn you on to have real sex.

I remember when I was at girl place and she wanted to go down on me but I didnt wanted then I used force to stop her and she stopped, despite that she didnt even pull off my pants just went down there and had that playful look like she wanted to do something. Also I didnt told her that Im a virgin. Cause I knew she will want to talk me into.

Think in your case telling guy that you are virgin was just adding oil to the fire and he didnt respected you cause you didnt had experience and you didnt knew about what you talking about when you mentioned sex.

So yeah its your fault that you let him. I assume you are young girl and it takes a while for young girls to learn dont do things that they dont want.
Anyway this bad feeling will pass over time. But maybe you need therapy to feel better sooner.

[lovebroken]

You told him no, and he continued so it was for the most part against your will. You probably weren't the first girl he was forceful like that with, lucky he didn't go any farther and stopped. I don't know if that would be the definition of rape but he was definitely wrong to not stop when you resisted him.

[richiro]

okay so this one is a tough one i'm sorry to say.
1. yo may be right in that oral is not considered rape (although it should be). So if you want to push that one and set precedent b/c you feel strongy it should be considered rape (i ahve never though tof it beore but i do belive it should be included in rape) then go for it and dont' stop... and be ready to be hammered hard by people and insulted like crazy...

2. the hard part here is.. you did say no (which you should), but then you provided visible consent POST "no". And that's the problem.

3. After you said 'no' and stopped him for down below, you then provided visible "consent" by removing your under garments.

so.. you'd most likely lose the case unless , again, you want to pioneer to help create a new DEFINITION of rape that includes ... oh i duno.. it woudl have to be re-framed in a way you oudl win (but we're not sure what woudl win). something similar to "coerced confessions" but like "coerced consent"... it definitely woudl not be easy. it could very much ruin your life. and these things are always longshots to win.

but as with anyting else this toug.. SOMEBODY had to stand up and realize changing society because it was the right thign to do, and taking a stand because it was the right thing to do, is more important than your personal life, and having to endure all the damaging things it would take to see it through.

I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are seeing a psychologist and perahsp a psychologist would be able to advice on a way you can feel more protected and safe about birnging this out into the open and making a stand. If you end up doing and I end up seeing the case in the papers - know that you will have atleast 1 person giving you 100% support on the plight.

good luck and hang in there.