Estate Bequest to Former Significant Others - Right or Wrong?

[mlm009]

First-off, I’m single, never-been-married, with no children and currently cohabiting with my partner of over three years. I recently relocated to that person’s home in Southern CA.
This person incessantly causes conflict (almost on a daily basis) about an outdated will/estate plan that I’m in the process of overhauling.Recent history: In mid 2015, my mother passed, as well as three others very close to me. I was also a passenger who was severely injured in a high-speed automobile in August of that year. In August 2016, I was struck by a vehicle in another “hit & run” crash that left me injured for another 6 months.

In light of all this drama, I’m drafting an entirely new document.

Because I have no heirs, during the course of the initial draft (around 2012), I thought long and hard about persons in my past who have had a significant impact on my life and those who have taught me lessons in making me the person I am today. Since a traumatic breakup in 1993, I’ve become extremely introspective and am always striving to become better with each and every day, whether it’s engaging in learning new things about the world, or improving in my interactions with others around me. Incidentally, it was the breakup in 1993 that was the impetus in embarking on my advanced degree in the field of social psychology/human relationship dynamics. This single accomplishment has completely changed my life.

My outdated will and last testament bequeaths a vintage vehicle to a former partner (1984-1993). Another vintage vehicle is bequeathed to another former partner (1999-2009). Besides my wonderful late parents, both persons have had extremely significant impact in my life and growth as a person.

My current partner is aware that I’ve been contemplating the draft of a new will/estate plan.

In a somewhat inebriated conversation late one evening, my partner mentioned that they really like one of the vehicles.
I replied, “As it stands right now, If I were to die, that vehicle would belong to so & so…”
I wholly regret making this statement for it has, and continues to cause extreme discord in our relationship. My partner continues to bring this up on an almost daily basis, typically after their 3rd or 4th alcoholic drink.
During the course of these episodes, my partner will incessantly remark that I desire to have these individuals “back in my life” and that I’m “living in the past.”

I have decided to sell the vehicles to keep the peace. Perhaps, when I’m gone, I may not rest in peace…

As a side note: My partner is currently the sole beneficiary of life insurance, brokerage and bank accounts currently worth over $750,000. In addition, this person is the sole beneficiary of tens of thousands of dollars-worth of electronics, vintage musical instruments, art and collectibles.

My partner says I’m wrong, and I’m a “terrible partner,” for bequeathing two of my vehicles to my former partners.

Can a neutral third party who is knowledgeable and experienced in estates, relationships, and death wishes please tell me if I’m right or wrong?

Your attention is very deeply appreciated!

[lovebroken]

I voted.

Do as you wish with your own belongings in a will. Do not be swayed or manipulated by any others, including a current partner. By the sounds of what you posted she has been left enough if you do pass, she appears jealous and greedy to me. Think about those who loved and cared for you in the past, they matter too and sometimes even more because they had no ulterior motives and are not wanting anything from you, or to be left anything. The thought will touch them I am sure.

[CantMoveOn]

I laughed at the poll options you posted. Depends on the physical attractiveness of the current partner... HUH? why would that ever matter?

I agree with what lovebroken told you.

It is your money and your estate and you divide it how you see fit to do, you could leave 50% to charity if you wanted. No ones business but your own what you decide to do.

[Snow White]

IMO, I don't think your partner is greedy, but just insecure. I think that is so mature to regard ex girlfriends as people who have helped you grow and wanting to reward them in some way. If your current gf can't understand that, then it probably is much easier to sell them and enjoy the money while you are alive.

It doesn't sound like the two of you have really sat down and discussed this seriously, though. We all get emotional after a couple of drinks. A woman can become very threatened when ex gfs come into play. If this is really important to you, sit her down and explain why. It has nothing to do with feelings you have for them now, but perhaps how the heartache helped you grow and become a better man to be able to love HER and appreciate her.

[mlm009]

I laughed at the poll options you posted. Depends on the physical attractiveness of the current partner... HUH? why would that ever matter?

I added those options to make it interesting and funny...

[CantMoveOn]

Okay, mim009. I did laugh so it worked

Just follow your heart in what to do regarding your will and you'll be alright.

[breathe123]

This is all about what YOU feel is best not what others around you with hands out think. Be fair & if others complain they can get f ucked :] Have you decided what to do yet?

[mlm009]

This is all about what YOU feel is best not what others around you with hands out think. Be fair & if others complain they can get f ucked :] Have you decided what to do yet?

My partner has consulted with their mom, sister, other family members and friends and has concluded that I am wrong and mentally ill. However, the opinions on this forum have been unanimous thus far in saying that it's all up to my wishes.
I have also consulted with my long-time mentor, who is a retired psychotherapist, professor and noted author on relationships. He agrees with everybody on this forum.

Since this issue pervades my life on an almost daily basis, I'm thinking of having the both of us see a neutral/unbiased, third-party counselor who is experienced in romantic relationships. This way they can hear it from an expert. My partner is being resistive in this endeavor, however, and insists that I need to seek help myself.

[breathe123]

Your partner is being very unfair to you over this. Are you sure she loves you? I think you should go with what your mentor thinks, since they are someone whose opinions you can trust to be honest & unbiased.